Save Uncle Crimbo!

This page is in need of content. Should be formatted like other quest pages, Untinker Quest for example.

Description

You must try to find a way to break Lady Linnea's bewitching spell on Uncle Crimbo and return him to his factory in time for Crimbo by finding the three magical things that remind him who he is. After you've found Uncle Crimbo, you're going to have to try to find the two other things that he likes to convince him to come back.

Tasks

• Visit A Lonely Crimbo Elf in The Big Mountains.
• Open the first? section of the Spooky Advent Calendar.
• Use a chocolate lump.
• Rest in your campground twice.
• First Thing
  • Adventure in Simple Tool-Making Cave in Crimbo Rock until you have gathered 2 sticks, a stringy sinew, and a big leaf.
  • Have Ugh Crimbo in the Toy-Making Cave create you fire and a leaf tube.
  • Using meat paste, combine the fire and leaf tube into a lit cigar.
  • Use the lit cigar.
• Second Thing
  • ?
• Third Thing
  • ?
• ?

Rewards

• Access to Ugh Crimbo's Toy-Making Cave, where you can make prehistoric tools/toys.
• ?

Text

On initial visit:

As you're walking around the Big Mountains, looking for Crimbo Town, you notice a sad, sniffling little Crimbo Elf. He spots you, and says, "Man, this is ridiculous. I never dreamed something like this could happen? It's almost Crimbo time, and where's Uncle Crimbo? He's been bewitched, I tell you, bewitched by that evil Scream Queen. It's like a bad dream, man."

"I thought she banished him to a dreamy desert island," you say.

"Oh yeah, banished, sure. Nah, she scrambled his brain with some weird spell! He's on a dream vacation. He doesn't even remember that he's Uncle Crimbo. He's going to luaus and wearing brightly-colored shorts, living the dream, and meanwhile the Scream Queen's taking over Crimbo. You've got to find the three magical things that will remind him who he is."

"You mean, like, candy canes and gingerbread?"

The elf laughs. "You don't know him very well, do you?"

"Where should I start?" you ask.

"I wouldn't dream of telling you that," the elf replies.

On subsequent visits:

"Please find Uncle Crimbo! We need his guidance!"

First nightmare:

You wake up in the middle of the night and see a bright light outside of your bed curtains. Since you don't have any curtains (and may or may not have a bed), you're pretty sure you're dreaming. You hope it's not curtains for you, though.

You push back the curtains and the bright light solidifies into a ghost! He has the requisite long, white robe, but some decidedly non-requisite dreadlocks hanging down past his shoulders. He gazes piercingly at you and speaks.

"Hey, mon," he says. "I be Marley's Ghost. I come to tell ya that tonight ye will be visited by tree spirits."

"Tree spirits?" you ask. "You mean those fruity little things in Canadia?"

"Nah, mon," he says. "One, two, tree -- tree spirits."

"Is this about me realizing I'm a horrible person and resolving to change, and ending up all giddy as a schoolboy?" you ask. "Because, if so, I'd rather just stay horrible. It doesn't bother me, except when people move my chair."

"Nah, mon." The ghost answers. "Uncle Crimbo's gone missing, and these tree spirits are going to help yah rescue him. The first is de ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past. The second is the ghost of Crimbo Right-about-now. You'll like him, he's a funk soul brother. The third is the Ghost of Crimbo In The Not-Too-Distant Future. You'll see the first one the next time you fall asleep."

"Seriously," you say, "I don't really want to bother with any ghosts, man. I mean, I don't even have my proton pack."

"Expect the first one the next time you fall asleep," the ghost repeats, and starts to fade away, singing some song about martial bison.

Second nightmare:

You wake up to the sound of someone banging a bone against a rock. Well, you don't know that's what the sound is until you get up and look, but that's what it is.

You see a shimmery, transparent caveman (who may or may not have just saved a lot of money on his car insurance), dressed in furs and squatting on your floor, pounding said rock with said leg-bone.

"Me Ugh. Gwee tonga nala tonga macha pooka." he says, gesturing and grunting at you.

"You're Ugh, the ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past, and you want me to go to the Big Mountains, where Crimbotown was last year, and I'll be magically transported to CrimboRock, which is Crimbotown thousands of years ago?"

"Ugh. Gwee zug fech haraka ool."

"And you say that once I'm there, I can fight monsters, make toys, and find part of the magic spell for rescuing Uncle Crimbo?"

"Ugh," the caveman says, nodding his assent.

Wow, I wish I could speak Caveman.

Notes

• After receiving the first nightmare, A Lonely Crimbo Elf disappears.
• After receiving the second nightmare, Crimbo Rock appears in The Big Mountains.

References

The line about car insurance is taken from a series of ads by Geico. (Our website is so easy, even a caveman can use it.)