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This page is in need of content.
Missing Jobs, amount per category unknown.
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The Odd Jobs Board
You look at the Odd Jobs Board to see what weird tasks people are currently hiring for.
Small Jobs
Wanted: Chip Stacker
| The Head Croupier at the Thatch-Roof Casino needs someone to sort the poker chips by color and weight, then stack them neatly. It's an obsessive-compulsive's dream job.
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Graffiti Transplanter
| The Sleazy Back Alley is covered in gross and explicit graffiti. The Council is outraged, and wants someone to erase all of that filth--and painstakingly transcribe it onto the Graffiti Wall, where it belongs.
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Gutter Polisher
| The Council of Loathing is looking for a hard-working entrepreneur to clean up the gutters of Seaside Town[sic]
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Hovel Sweeper
| The Pretentious Artist needs someone to sweep his dirt-floored hovel. Maybe it's some kind of art project on the ironic futility of life, or something?
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Knob Polisher
| The doorknobs in Spookyraven Manor have become tarnished with age, and the Loathing Historical Society is looking for someone to restore them to their former luster. The ideal candidate will not snicker about the job title.
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Manor Painter
| The exterior of Spookyraven Manor needs a fresh coat of whitewash, to cover the horrors that lurk within (and the dry rot that lurks without).
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Museum Cleaner
| The Museum docents need someone to help dust the various memorials and plaques, and to repair damage caused by adventurers trying to carve their names on leaderboards after the fact.
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Stock-Taker
| The General Store's General needs someone to take inventory for him, so he knows how much of which goods he will need to reorder. Upon reflection, this is more of a regular job than an odd job.
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| Wages:
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200
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chewing gum on a string (3)
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Wall Repainter
| The Council of Loathing needs someone to give the Graffiti Wall a fresh coat of paint, so the town's budding young artists will have a fresh canvas for their various obscentities.
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| Wages:
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250
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spray paint (3)
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Wanted: Window Breaker
| The Council of Loathing wants able-bodied Adventurers to break a bunch of the windows on the Wrong Side of the Tracks in Seaside Town, so that all of the windows will match, making the derelict buildings more aesthetically pleasing. The Broken Windows Theory suggests that this will reduce crime.
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| Wages:
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300
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Do This Job (3 Adventures)
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Muscle Jobs
Wanted: Apple Harvester
| Molly Applecore, the owner of Loathing's only apple orchard, needs a hired hand to help harvest and crate her daily apple crop. Once all the apples have been loaded into crates, she'll ship all of them to Distant Lands, because everyone knows there's no market for apples in the Kingdom.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Barge Lifter/Bale Toter
| The East Loathing Trading Company's barge from the Distant Lands has finally arrived at the Docks of Loathing. Now they require someone to lift the barge out of the water and tote the bales of Distant Lands merchandise off of the barge.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Forge Bellower
| The Meatsmith wants to hire someone to work the bellows at his forge. Not, he wants to make clear, to stand around shouting loudly, which is apparently a miscommunication that has happened before.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Hercules Wannabe
| Susie the Arena Mistress needs an Adventurer with a strong back and a stronger stomach to clean out the stables at the Cake-Shaped Arena. Bring your own hand sanitizer.
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| Wages:
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900
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Pine-Fresh air freshener (1)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Hod Carrier
| The Pretentious Artist has come up in the world a bit, and is adding a layer of mud to his dirt-walled hovel. He needs someone to kneel before a hod(a flat board with a carrying handle, piled high with mud), lift the hod into the air, and hold it while an artisan daubs mud onto the hovel.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Janitor's Aide
| Olaf at the Brotherhood of the Smackdown needs someone to spot him while he organizes and polishes the Brotherhood's barbell collection.
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| Wages:
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900
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strongness elixir (3)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Paper Adult
| The Loathing Herald-Times-Tribune-Messenger needs muscle-bound persons to stack giant bundles of newspapers into semi-tractor-trailers to be hauled all over the Kingdom. The ideal candidate won't comment on what a waste of time and resources it is to print news on dead trees every day.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Stockroom Assistant
| Warren, the Armorer and Leggerer, needs someone to help him rearrange his stockroom, for obvious reasons.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Tracks Cleaner
| Kids keep putting bits of meat on the Tracks. The Council doesn't understand why anyone would do that, but needs someone to go clean up the mess.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Mysticality Jobs
Wanted: Crossword Editor
| Mysticality Mynthly needs a copy-editor to make sure none of the ancient, forbidden words in this month's crossword will cause dimensional rifts to alternate realities full of betentacled elder gods.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Genie Bottler
| Wizard Novelties & Boffo Laffs, Inc., just received a new shipment of genies from Distant Lands. Unfortunately, due to a translation error, the genies were shipped unbottled. Instead of waiting around to be released, they're threatening to rend the very fabric of reality. Bottling genies isn't technically challenging, but it is mentally exhausting.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Library Organizer
| The Librarian who runs the library across the street from the Sleazy Back Alley is looking for someone to organize and reshelve a few stacks of returned books.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Love-Potion Brewer
| The Love Potion Brewers Union #9 is on strike, and Wizard Novelties & Boffo Laffs, Inc. is calling in scabs to brew a batch of their new love potion. It says something about the wizarding world that a beverage with the power to negate someone's free will is considered a "novelty" or a "boffo laff."
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Lunacy-Tolerant Scribe
| The Captain of the Gourd needs someone to help him transcribe his insane ramblings from a teetering stack of old composition books into a teetering stack of fresh composition books.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Meal Deliverer
| A local restaurant has begin a program of delivering meals to the elderly and shut-ins, and needs someone to make deliveries.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Salve Taste-Tester
| Doc Galaktik is working on a new batch of medicinal salve, and needs someone to help choose the tastiest combination of ingredients.
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| Wages:
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900
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Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm (3)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Staff Polisher
| The League of Chef-Magi seeks a strongly mystical applicant to polish the staves in the Ancient Mystical Artifact collection. No one who snickers at the job title will be considered for the position.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Transmutation Subject
| The League of Chef-Magi needs someone for trainees to practice transformation spells on. Strong stomach required, must not be allergic to animal dander.
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| Wages:
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900
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magicalness-in-a-can (3)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Wall Shaver
| One of the broom closets in Spookyraven Manor has become a hellish, obscenely biological nightmare, its wallpapered walls transfigured into human flesh. Even worse, that flesh is covered in gross hair! The ideal applicant will be able to shave the walls without going mad from the tortured whispering leaking under the doorway.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Moxious Jobs
Wanted: Artist's Model
| The Pretentious Artist wants to do some nude paintings, and needs a model who won't object to being looked at by a naked man.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Ballroom Blitzer
| The musicians in the Spookyraven Manor ballroom have gotten bored of playing the same waltzes for several hundred years, and would like someone to come teach them some new tunes.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Barrel Arranger
| The mysterious… organization? Cult? Whatever, that owns the Barrel Full of Barrels needs someone to sweep up all the splinters and metal hoops, and line up some fresh barrels to replace the broken ones.
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| Wages:
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1000
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fine wine (1)
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Do This Job ( Adventures)
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Wanted: Card Shuffler
| The Thatched-Roof Casino, in an attempt to make games play more quickly, has decided to hire card shufflers to keep a stock of pre-shuffled decks of cards on-hand.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Cobweb Hanger
| Some genius at the Loathing Historical Preservation Society left the window open in the foyer of Spookyraven Manor, and all the cobwebs blew away. The Society seeks someone with an eye for interior decorating to artfully arrange imported cobwebs.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Death-Quip Writer
| Secret agent Ionic Bond (who always tells people his real, full name, because that's what a good secret agent does) seeks a moxious writer to write pun-based, badass quips he can make after offing a villain.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Eyebrow Archer
| The Council of Loathing's Complaint Department seeks a qualified candidate to sit behind the Complaints desk silently, motionless, and with a sardonically-arched eyebrow. They figure it will cut down substantially on the number of complaints.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Pocket Pickee
| The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts needs someone to stand around while trainees steal their wallet over and over.
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| Wages:
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900
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moxie weed (3)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Salad Spinner
| A local health-food restaurant wants to increase awareness of their location by hiring someone to stand outside the restaurant juggling vegetables.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Sunglasses Model
| Handsome Hank's Modeling School is looking for a cool Adventurer to demonstrate to its students the proper way to wear sunglasses. Lunch is included.
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| Wages:
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800
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martini (3)
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Wanted: Twister
| The secret dance club in the Sleazy Back Alley is suffering from an empty dance floor. The club's mysterious owner seeks a moxious applicant to do the Twist on their dance floor, encouraging other patrons to join in.
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| Wages:
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1000
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Do This Job (10 Adventures)
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Notes
- The job board shows one of each type of job at a time.
Occurs at Seaside Town.
