Essence of Tofu
| Essence of Tofu | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 966 |
| Locations | The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade |
| Hit Points | 60 |
| Attack | 20 |
| Defense | 27 |
| Initiative | 80 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | elemental |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | cube |
| Drops | essential tofu |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting the Essence of TofuIn the beginning was the Curd. And the curd was formless, and flavorless, and it hovered over the waters. And the Curd became a substitute for flesh, and dwelt among us, and it was eaten by those who would not eat another living thing. And the Curd took on the flavor of all that was cooked near it.
What you face now is the tofu's true nature, of which the tofu that you know is the palest of imitations. Its blandness is so complete, so ideal, that it could probably blow your tongue out the top of your head.
Hit Message(s):
It increases the estrogen production in your body to a painful degree. Ooh!
It bonks you with one of its cubes and knocks you flat. Looks like its To Fu is stronger than yours. Ooh!
It crushes you between two of its perfect gelatinous cubes. Ow!
It forms itself into the Platonic ideal of a tofurkey, complete with dairy-free gravy, gelatin-free cranberries and gluten-free dinner rolls. Your brain simply can't contain all of the beauty, or all of the hippy. Argh!
It increases your estrogen production. Your eyelashes get thicker and more luxurious.
It floats toward you, but you edge backwards.
It tries to bonk you with one of its cubes, but you duck under. Looks like your To Fu is stronger than its.
It floats off to find the platonic ideal of soy sauce, with which to flavor itself.
It tries to crush you between its cubes, but they're too gelatinous to do any damage.
It floats off to find the platonic ideal of soy sauce, with which to flavor itself. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: essential tofu (5% chance)* |
Occurs at The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade (with 10+ turns of In Your Cups)
Notes
- This monster cannot be copied.
- The essential tofu is a conditional drop and cannot be yellow-rayed.
References
- The description alludes to several biblical verses, most notably Genesis 1:2 and John 1:14.
- The miss message about estrogen production refers to soy containing naturally occurring estrogen-like compounds called phytoestrogens, and their exaggerated effect on the human body.
