Flaming Troll

It flames you in the <ear> with a clever combination of profanity and fisticuffs. Ugh! Argh! Argh! Ooh! (bad spelling damage)

It hurls insults at you. And brimstone. Eek! Argh! Ooh! Ouch! (hot damage)

It hurls insults at you, as well as sticks and stones. The words don't hurt, but... well, you know the rest. Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Eek!

It lights your nipple on fire. Fire bad! Ugh! Oof! Argh! Ooh! (hot damage)

It starts to deliver a well-crafted, thought-out, visceral and intelligent dissection of all of your biggest personality flaws, but decides it'd be better to just pummel you senseless instead. Ooh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh!

It tries to flame you in the <ear>, but you ignore the attack and it misses.

It hurls insults at you, but you grin and bear it.

It hurls sticks and stones at you, but you jump around to avoid getting your bones broken.

It tries to set your <ear> on fire, but you're inflammable. Wait, that's means flammable. You're un-light-on-fire-able.

He hurls some more insults at you, but you deliver a pithy, intelligent verbal beat-down. Which, of course, he doesn't understand. But at least he's standing there scratching his head instead of attacking you.

You gain 32−51 Meat (average: 40.5, stdev: 3.8)*

You acquire an item: flaming talons (12.6% chance)*

You acquire an item: Trollhouse cookies (39.4% chance)*

You gain 16.6 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm.

Notes

• The name refers to two kinds of internet annoyance: Flaming and Trolling.

References

• "Fire bad!" is a reference to one of the Monster's lines in the film Bride of Frankenstein
• The hit and miss messages talking about sticks and stones refer to the well over-used, but still rather popular saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!"