Irate mariachi

He plays the highest note he can on his trumpet. Your ears start to bleed. Oof! Argh!

He swings his guitarron at you and clips you in the <shoulder>. It hurts you deeply. Ooh! Eek!

He tries to play a loud, high note on his trumpet, but seems to lack los chops.

He swings his guitarron at you, but misses you completely. Man, that was a low blow.

You gain 4−7 Meat (average: 5.2, stdev: 0.9)*

You acquire 34.4% chance bottles of tequila

You acquire 19.4% chance irate sombreros

You acquire 29.4% chance mariachi G-strings

You gain 4 <substat>

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Found South of the Border.