Knob Goblin Master Chef

He makes a delicate souffle of eggs, nutmeg, cinnamon, and your sweet, sweet pain. Ouch! Oof!

He assaults, peppers, parsleys, sages, rosemarys, and thymes you. Argh! Ow!

He starts to throw a cleaver at you, but breaks into tears when you make fun of his little hat.

He swings a frying pan at you, but you leap out of the way. Into the fire. Except for the 'into the fire' part.

You acquire bunches of dry noodles

You acquire Knob mushrooms

You acquire spices

You gain 4-5 <substat>.

References

The combat message, "He assaults, peppers, parsleys, sages, rosemarys, and thymes you", contains nested puns. He "assaults, peppers" (salts and peppers), and "parsley, sages, rosemarys and thymes" you could be a reference to the refrain from the song Scarborough Fair.
"Out of the frying pan and into the fire" means that someone has gone from a bad situation to a worse one. There is a Meat Loaf song by this name.

Occurs at Cobb's Knob Kitchens