Mob Penguin goon
{{battle|text=This is a thick-skulled slab of hired muscle with delusions of eloquence. He says, "regrettably, my employers has requested that I should engage in fisticuffs with you. Rest assured that I bear you no animosity, but, what with the current dearth of job opportunities, I am forced to engage in mayhem-for-hire."
Yeesh -- already you're starting to miss the goons with one-syllable vocabularies. Why doesn't he just shut up and hit you already? |hit=He says, "my patella seeks urgent palaver with your primary sexual characteristics," then knees you in the groin. Oof! Ouch!
He says, "please pardon this arboreal-cranial juxtaposition," and hits you in the head with a stick. Ow! Ow!
He says, "pardon this egregious lapse in my normally pacifistic tendencies," and punches you in the face. Ouch! Argh! |miss=He stops attacking to consult his thesaurus.
 | You acquire an item: penguin thesaurus (? chance)* |
Occurs at The Old Crimbo Toy Factory (2008).
