Monster Manuel (Other)

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Revision as of 20:58, 2 August 2014 by imported>Evilkolbot (References: nss)

There are 6 creatures filed under Other.

Monster Manuel Entries
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other
150 This monster is a Construct "Handyman" Jay Android
  • "Handyman" Jay's slogan used to be "To wipe your troubles away, try Handy Jay." But times have changed.
  • "Handyman" Jay is a licensed "plumber" and "electrician" with years of "experience," if you know what I mean.
  • Sometimes "Handyman" Jay brings along an "assistant" who is "learning on the job."
135 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
150 Initiative +80%
150 This monster is a Dude (shadow opponent)
  • Look, the shadow opponent is basically a negative-matter version of yourself. Do you need a bunch of fun facts about the opposite of you, or can you extrapolate 'em yourself?
  • Okay, fine. The shadow opponent has impeccable hygiene, is physically fit, and its breath doesn't smell like cheese whether or not it's eaten any cheese.
  • The shadow opponent also has lots of friends, gets laid on a regular basis, and its mother doesn't enjoy sex with dozens of anonymous men.
89999 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
395 Initiative +150%
81 This monster is a Dude 1335 HaXx0r
  • The 1335 HaxXor was orginally called the Xx_1335HaXx0R_xX, until we made him stop.
  • Most of the HaxX0r's "1337haxxx" are just scrolls he bought off of an actual hacker.
  • The 1335 HaxX0r once tried to score those elusive two more 1337ness points by hacking a bugged bugbear. The bugbear responded to the hacking with a fierce slashing.
72 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
71 Initiative +50%
57 This monster is a Humanoid 7-Foot Dwarf Foreman
  • Want to know how this guy got to be the foreman? See how he can use a pickaxe in each hand? Yeah, that's how.
  • They call him the foreman because he's worth four regular miners. Well, that's what he tells them. His wife tells a different story. Ooh, zing!
  • The very first thing that the foremen learn to watch out for is dwarves bringing home weird princesses. That just causes no end of trouble.
51 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
50 Initiative +80%
145 This monster is a Construct 7-Foot Dwarf Replicant
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant spends his downtime making origami unicorns to confuse sci-fi nerds.
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant used to narrate everything he was doing in a kind of dopey monotone voice-over, but the manufacturer removed that feature, thank god.
  • 7-foot dwarf replicants can be identified by giving them a lengthy personality test involving torturing theoretical turtles. If the process doesn't bore them to sleep, they're a replicant.
130 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
155 Initiative +60%
0 This monster is a Dude [somebody else's butt]
  • The fax machine was originally invented as a diagnosis tool for proctologists, so that patients could be examined by specialists without having to travel to another hospital. It is only recently that these machines have been used for business purposes.
  • You should never show your butt to a stranger, because they might turn out to be a werewolf.
  • Did we already do the joke about butting heads with buttheads? Okay, never mind then.
0 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
0 Never wins initiative

References

  • The weird princess the 7-foot dwarf foreman is worried about is Snow White.
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant's factoids are all nods to the film Blade Runner.