Retrieve Yossarian's Tools

Description

Retrieving Yossarian's Tools is a sidequest of The Junkyard in the Mysterious Island Quest. Yossarian, The Junkman needs your help retrieving some tools stolen from him by gremlins. The quest is available immediately when fighting as a Frat Warrior, and after 192 kills as a Hippy.

Tasks

• Talk to Yossarian. He will tell you about the gremlins, and give you a molybdenum magnet.
• Talk to him again, and he'll mention seeing one of his tools somewhere. Go over to where he tells you and start fighting the gremlins.
• Each tool can be dropped by one particular type of gremlin. There are two subtypes of each gremlin type. Their set of combat messages are nearly identical, but in general the tool-using gremlin (Gremlin A) will have the same set of combat messages as Gremlin B with the exception that one of the messages is replaced by the message relating to the tool they use.
  
  The best way to determine if you are wasting your time on a gremlin who does not hold the tool is to look for the replaced message. See the chart below for the messages for the incorrect gremlin and the messages that the gremlin will give right before you can use the molybdenum magnet.

Tool	Gremlin	Incorrect gremlin message	Correct gremlin message
molybdenum hammer	batwinged gremlin	"It does a bombing run over your head..."	"It whips out a hammer (you're not sure from where), and hammers on your head with it. Dude, you're so hammered."
molybdenum screwdriver	vegetable gremlin	"It picks a <vegetable> off of itself and..."	"It whips out a screwdriver and stabs you with it. Where did it get the vodka and orange juice? Oh, wait, it was just the regular, metal, stabby kind of screwdriver."
molybdenum pliers	spider gremlin	"It bites you in the fibula with its mandibles..."	"It whips out a pair of pliers and fastens them firmly on your eye. If only it'd tried to ply you with booze instead."
molybdenum crescent wrench	erudite gremlin	"He uses the random junk around him to make an automatic eyeball-peeler..."	"He whips out a crescent wrench from somewhere, places it on your finger, and carefully calibrates how tightly he has to adjust it to make you scream bloody murder."

• If the monster you are currently fighting isn't the one that can drop the tool for the current stage of your quest, kill it like any other mob; it can't help your quest.
• If you're fighting the correct gremlin type for the tool Yossarian is asking for, watch its attack messages carefully. When you see it throw a tool at you, using one of the messages above, on the next round, use the item molybdenum magnet, which will use the magnet to catch it. When you catch a tool, you automatically win the fight. Because you need the gremlins to attack you to find the tool, skills or items that cause a monster to be unable to attack are useless. Not every gremlin of the correct type will choose to use its tool in the 30 rounds you get to fight.
• Make sure you don't kill the correct gremlin before it shows its tool. Use a very low-level attack, such as using a turtle totem, as it will often take 8-12 rounds for the gremlin to show the tool.
• Go talk to Yossarian to see where the next tool is. Repeat this until you've acquired his hammer, pliers, screwdriver, and crescent wrench.
• Once you have all his tools, talk to him again to finish this quest and claim your reward.

Rewards

• If this sidequest was finished in War Hippy Fatigues, you will encounter Bailey's Beetles on the Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues) when fighting against the Hippies. Additionally, gremlins (both pre- and post-war) will be able to drop Extra-potent gremlin mutagens. Yossarian will give you one of the following:
  • A spark plug earring, woven baling wire bracelets, or a gearbox necklace
• If this sidequest was finished in Frat Warrior Fatigues, you will encounter War Frat Mobile Grill Units on the Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues) when fighting against the Frat Boys. Additionally, gremlins (both pre- and post-war) will be able to drop gremlin mutagens. Yossarian will give you one of the following:
  • A rusty chain necklace, a sawblade shield, or a wrench bracelet
• If this sidequest was not finished, you will receive 1,500 Meat per tool you recovered in special non-combat adventures in the post-war Junkyard.

Text

Visiting Yossarian without wearing War Fatigues:

"Hey there, soldier, could you help me ou -- wait, you're not a soldier, you're just some damn civilian. Never mind. I've got a real problem here and I was hoping a fellow military man could help me out. If you see anybody in uniform, send them my way, okay?"

Initially visiting Yossarian in War Fatigues:

"Hey, I see you're a soldier -- uh, of some sort. Man, the uniforms have really changed since back in my day. What war was I in? Oh, you know, that one between the Cola Wars and now. I'm sure there's a whole history of it somewhere.

Anyway, I'm hoping you can help a fellow military man out. Have you got a few minutes?"

"Sure, what do you need?"

"So, when I was in the war, I was a bombardier in the Air Force. One day I looked out the window of the plane and saw something on the wing. Some...thing on the wing. Funny thing is, I'd been trying to get kicked out of the service for a while at that point, trying to convince them I was insane -- but they said not wanting to get in a plane and get shot out wasn't insane, so I had to keep flying. Anyway, once I told them about the gremlin I saw, they gave me a section eight without me even having to put on a dress.

The gremlin followed me here, though. For a while, I kept him as a pet, but then when I tried to give him a bath, he multiplied! There are two swarms of eleven gremlins running around here! I keep wanting to fix up some of the old junker cars here, but I can't because they stole my tools. I have no idea how I'm going to catch twenty-two of those creatures -- hell, there's probably even more of them now. Even worse, some dumb scientist was up here the other day. He did all sorts of experiments and the gremlins are mutating!

Anyway, so I'm missing my entire molybdenum tool set -- my hammer, screwdriver, pliers, and crescent wrench. You can probably use this magnet to get them away from the gremlins. If you can get me my tools, I could probably fix up some of these cars for your war effort."

You acquire an item: molybdenum magnet

Subsequent visits:

"Hey, have you found my tools yet? Remember, I'm missing my hammer, my screwdriver, my pliers, and my crescent wrench. Oh, I'm naked because they'll never recognize me without my uniform. Don't worry about it, just get my tools, okay?"

After retrieving all the tools:

"All right! I don't know how you managed to get these back, but now I can start fixing those cars. Take my advice, though, and get out of the military while you still have half a brain. Of course, if you still have half a brain, they won't let you out -- it's just like trying to catch twenty-two gremlins."

As you turn to walk away, he taps you on the shoulder. "I almost forgot. I made this while you were off getting my tools. It was boring, but I figure the more time I spend bored, the longer my life will seem. Anyway, I don't really want it, so you might as well take it."

Frat Warriors:

You acquire an item: rusty chain necklace

or

You acquire an item: sawblade shield

or

You acquire an item: wrench bracelet

War Hippies:

You acquire an item: spark plug earring

or

You acquire an item: woven baling wire bracelets

or

You acquire an item: gearbox necklace

Subsequent visits:

"Hey, you can tell your officers that I'll have the next shipment of cars ready by the end of the day. Do you want a little chocolate-covered cotton to munch on while you wait?

No? Okay, then. See you later."

Subsequent visits in other side's outfit:

"Sorry, but I've already been contracted to fix up cars for the other side of the war. Of course, you're only my enemy because I'm helping them, and I'm only helping them because they helped me first. So I'm pretty apathetic about the whole thing, I guess is what I'm saying. But I still don't have any time to make cars for your side, too."

References

• Wearing a dress to get a section 8 is a reference to the character Klinger on the M*A*S*H television series.
• Yossarian is the main character from the book Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.
• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder, another character from Joseph Heller's book Catch-22, tried to sell cotton wool as candies, covering them with chocolate.
• The part where Yossarian mentions "it's just like trying to catch twenty-two gremlins," is also a reference to Catch-22.
• When Yossarian says "I figure the more time I spend bored, the longer my life will seem", it's a reference to the strategy used by his friend Dunbar to extend his life
• The monsters in this area, as well as Yossarian's recounting of his flight troubles, are a reference to a phenomenon made known during World War II, when some fighter pilots reported seeing something sabotaging their plane just before it malfunctioned. This is possibly a result of hallucination brought on by stress during combat.
• Seeing "something on the wing" is a reference to an episode of The Twilight Zone, "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet," in which the main character sees a gremlin on the wing of the plane, and exclaims "there's... something on the wing of the plane... some... thing!"
• The reference to multiplying when given a bath refers to the gremlins (or mogwai) in the movie Gremlins, in which any time one of them touched water, they would multiply.