Stranglin' algae

You're fighting some stranglin' algae

   You might think of algae as the green slime that collects on the sides of your aquarium if you don't clean it properly. You might think of algae as a nutritional supplement that modern-day snake oil salesmen try to foist off on gullible suckers in capsule form. If you're a nerdy scientific type, you might think of algae as a large and diverse group of simple, typically autotrophic organisms, ranging from unicellular to multicellular forms.

   None of that is important right now. What's important is what this algae thinks of you as: A victim.

crit? It reminds you that, evolutionarily speaking, you two are related. You're so demoralized that you bang your head on a rock.

miss It tries to slime you, but you charge up your proton pack. You know, that proton pack you have. It extends a pseudopod, but you tell it to pseudo make you a sandwich. It tries to throttle you, but you're already at full throttle. It tries to smack you with a pseudopod, but doesn't have the backbone to follow through.

fumble? You make fun of it for not having leaves, roots, or thorns. It's too demoralized to attack this round.