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When playing the special challenge path of A Shrunken Adventurer am I, the text from the Council of Loathing refer to your shrunken state.
- It takes an unusually long time to get there, but you eventually make it to the Council building. The one Councillor present waves you over.
- "Ah, an adventurer!" the Councillor says. "Good to see you! Despite what it might look like, the rest of the Council has gone home until our current problem is solved. They got tired of waiting around for an adventurer to show up."
- "Yeah, sorry it took me so long to get here," you say.
- "Ha ha, yes well, no worries. It's to be expected, considering."
- "I don't really get why you guys decided to make the roads so much longer, but I guess that's tax dollars at work, right?"
- "Um...You, uh, didn't figure it out yet, then? You didn't maybe notice anything strange about your campsite?"
- "Oh, yeah! Actually I came to complain about that. It looks like the landscapers haven't been by in years!"
- "Mmm, uh-huh. Listen, why don't you just go see the Toot Oriole, and while you're gone I'll try to figure out a way to explain this using the smallest words possible. So to speak."
- After visiting the Toot Oriole, but before reading King Ralph's Note:
- "Ah, you're back," the Councillor says. "Did you see the Toot Oriole?"
- "Well, he wasn't in, but he left me a letter," you say. "Did you guys lengthen the mountain too? Or... tallen it, I guess?"
- He stares at you for a moment. "Maybe just... maybe just read the letter?"
- After reading King Ralph's note:
- "Well, there wasn't really anything informative or out of the ordinary about the Toot Oriole's letter," you say.
- "Nothing out of the ordinary?" the Councillor asks, incredulously. "The fact that the envelope was twelve feet long didn't clue you in? You didn't notice that at all?"
- "I figured the Toot was just mixing things up. Going through an avant-garde phase, you know?"
- "You seriously haven't figured it out yet?"
- "Figured what out?"
- "We've been shrunk! All the buildings and people in town have been shrunk down to bug size!"
- You look around the Council Hall, then down at your hands. "Seems normal to me."
- "Oh my god. Did you hit your head on an unusually hard cloud on your way back to the Kingdom? Maybe just... just go outside and look around for a while, okay? Come back when you've had some kind of realization.
- "You could check out the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, in the Nearby Plains.
- "Or maybe the Haunted Pantry is more your style -- you can find it inside Spookyraven Manor over on the Right Side of the Tracks.
- "Another option is The Sleazy Back Alley, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks. Keep an eye out for spiders, in particular."
- When no quests are available:
- Ummm... nope, can't think of anything else for you to do. Maybe you could go raid some insects. Raise the black flag, that sort of thing.
- Maybe come back later, when you're more experienced.
- Hah! Nice mask! Like I'd be afraid of such a tiny anarchist!
Quests
- "Ah, you're back," the Councillor says. "Did you..." He notices the thoughtful look in your eyes, and pauses. "...No, I can see you're still mulling it over. Okay. Look, you know the thing where we send you to the Spooky Forest, to bring back a mosquito larva? I know you've done it at least once before."
- "Sure, I remember that," you say.
- "Okay, great. Why don't you go and do that again. Maybe that'll open your eyes a bit."
- "Any luck getting that mosquito larva?" the Councillor asks.
- "No, not yet. It takes forever to get anywhere!" you complain.
- "Yeah. Yes. I can imagine. Might want to take a wheelbarrow with you, by the way."
- When returning with the mosquito larva:
- You roll the massive mosquito larva into the Council Chamber, and the Councillor looks impressed. "Wow, that's a beaut," he says. "That'll keep us in grub steaks for weeks."
- He gives you an expectant look and claps you on the shoulder encouragingly. "Okay, kid. You get it now, right?"
- "Oh yeah," you say. "It's all super clear now."
- "Good! Grea--"
- "Some dastardly evil-doer has made all the monsters really big!"
- "...Huh. Yeah. Okay, look, yes, as a matter of perspective, you aren't wrong, exactly, but... Look, what about all the insects? All the common bugs that are much bigger now too?"
- You shrug. "Well, bugs are just tiny monsters."
- "...And the rocks??"
- "All the rocks I've seen have just been regular-sized rocks," you say. "Although, now that you mention it, there are more big boulders around than usual. Probably because of the giant monsters. Giants like boulders."
- "...All right, fine, have it your way -- I'm done trying to convince you. Here, here's some Meat for your efforts."
- "Aha! This meat is still the regular size!"
- "We just cut it smaller!"
- We've received word that the owner of the Typical Tavern is having some problems. Fortunately, since his bar shrank like the buildings here in town, he can still reach the taps. But--
- "Wait a sec," you say. "What happened to your quotation marks?"
- Oh, I don't think we need to do the back-and-forth anymore. We've established the whole size thing and there isn't much point to arguing over whether we've shrunk or the monsters have gotten bigger. We can just do this the regular way, where I talk and you just kind of skim it.
- "Fair enough."
- Anyway the main thing is, the rats in his basement are -- regardless of which of us is right -- much too big for him to deal with by himself. Especially considering that was already true at normal size.
- Don't forget to take care of the rats in the Typical Tavern basement. It's for the rats' benefit as much as the tavern-keeper -- the overcrowding down there must be horrible.
- Okay, the next thing I need you to do, now that you're warmed up a bit, is to go kill the Boss Bat. As much of a threat as he was before, he's even worse now that we're the size of bugs to him. I mean, we're the size of bugs, period. I don't know if he's the kind of bat that eats bugs, but he's got two mouths to feed, so he probably doesn't not eat bugs. In case your concussion made you forget, he lives in the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains.
- Really need you to go kill the Boss Bat, adventurer. At night he comes out and flies around making that high-pitched screeching-clicking noise that bats do, it's terrifying. And all the more so because he tries to harmonize with himself, but he's terrible at it. It just sounds godawful.
- After defeating the Boss Bat:
- Whew! Thanks for slaying the Boss Bat. That's the most immediate threat to the safety of our newly-tiny residents taken care of. Now, hmm, what's the second-most immediate threat...
- Well, I've gotten word that the Knob Goblins are getting up to their usual tricks of being accused of planning a military action against Seaside Town, giving me an excuse to send someone in to assassinate their king. Fortunately, since Cobb's Knob is much further away than it used to be, relatively speaking, an invasion isn't as urgent a problem as it usually is. Although, since it's also going to take you longer to get there, I guess it all balances out.
- Here's a tiny map, which should allow you to access the inside of the Knob, if you can find a tiny decryption key.
- Before accessing the inside of the Knob:
- Are you having trouble getting into Cobb's Knob? That's weird, the place must be practically hermetically sealed, if someone as small as you can't get inside. I wonder if they have trouble getting enough oxygen down there. Maybe that's why they're so weird all the time. Beans as currency, I ask you. Anyway, if you search around the Outskirts carefully, you ought to kind a key to the map encryption sooner or later.
- After accessing the inside of the Knob:
- You've managed to sneak into Cobb's Knob? That's great news! You haven't assassinated the king yet? That's less great. Maybe if you, uh, disguise yourself as... a really unusually small Knob Goblin... I mean, look, you never know. Maybe they won't notice.
- After defeating the Goblin King:
- You've slain the Goblin King? That's great! Well done! Did you crawl into his ear and stab his brain to death? On second thought, that would probably be... it's probably real gross in that ear.
- Uh-oh. Big problem, Adventurer. Big, giant-sized problem. Yes, ha ha, all our problems are giant-sized now. I guess I need a new scale of problem measurement and comparison.
- The Deep Fat Friars, who maintain the wards on magical gates that keep horrible demons from Hey Deeze from flooding into the Kingdom -- don't ask me why we have those gates or why we don't just make a welded-together plate iron sandwich out of each one -- have become too small to perform the magic that keeps the gates closed! Yes, yes, or maybe the gates grew too big, have it your way. Whichever it is, I need you to get out there and see what you can do to help them. Probably it's "kill everything you see that isn't a monk".
- The Deep Fat Friars still require your assistance, and since you aren't an expert in the mechanics of demon summoning and are also equally as small as the monks who are, it's going to have to be fighting-type assistance.
- So, as much as I had hoped that the Misspelled Cemetery and the Cyrpt would have shrunk along with Seaside Town, it turns out that they did not. And consequently, our newly-tiny Spookiness Detection devices are going nuts. We've managed to re-tune this portable one down to acceptable margins, so I need you to take it to the Cyrpt and put a stop to whatever spooky business is going on out there.
- You remember how this quest ends, right? If I were you, I'd take an extra pair of very small pants.
- The Spookiness is still pouring out of the Cyrpt, Adventurer. I know because the science team had to unplug all the monitors -- nobody could get any work done with those emergency klaxons going off. The computer voice that yells what color of alert it is had to start making up new, redder shades of red.
- After defeating the Bonerdagon:
- So the Bonerdagon was up to its old tricks, eh? Considering your size, I bet it was a pretty easy fight -- since it would just swallow you whole, and you'd fall right out the back of its jaw. Right?
- I can see by the look on your face that no, that wasn't right. Well anyway, great job!
- We've received an urgent message from the Trapper out at Mt. McLargeHuge -- or perhaps I should say <?>Mt. McHugeGargantuan</?>. Seems like he needs our (your) assistance with something important. I hope you'll be able to find him in all that snow. I also hope nobody has to come find you in all that snow. Maybe you should get one of those little flags on long sticks, like they put on the back of children's bicycles so they don't get run over by SUVs. ...I mean, uh, fat horses.
- Any luck dealing with the Trapper's problem, Adventurer? One of our science guys told me you're probably light enough to just walk on the surface of the snow, so you don't have to worry about falling into it way past your head and racing to see if hypothermia or suffocation kills you first. You know, in case you were just nervous about going out there.
- As you may have been expecting, we've received a message from Black Angus, one of the Kingdom's minor nobles. He's even more minor now, but no less noble, so this is no fewer important. He sounded pretty agitated. Maybe he's too short for his bong.
- Anyway, if you could go to this place on the other side of the Orc Chasm and see what he wants, that'd be a big help. You know, relatively speaking.
- Your name is %playername%, right? This came in the mail for you. Please get it out of here, we don't have the space.
- Black Angus is still sending us frantic messages, Adventurer. I wish they actually said anything about what the problem actually is. We've got like five pigeons, two ravens, an eagle, and an emu from him, and the notes on their legs all just said "HEY!!!" with an increasing number of exclamation points.
- Adventurer, we've got problems. Big problems. Like, really BIG problems. I mean yeah all our problems are big problems under the circumstances, but this is like... okay, stop giving me that look, I'll get on with it. The thing is, the giants that live up in the sky are dropping garbage on the Plains again. But now, what with the size differential being much larger, it's... well, it's a whole thing you know? That garbage was really big before, but now it's... I don't know, double-big? So please, go figure out a way to put a stop to this whole thing. And by "figure out" I mean "remember how you usually do it".
- Please please put a stop to all the garbage falling on the Plains, Adventurer. God, the clean-up is going to be a nightmare. We're going to need to send teams of people out there with ropes and scaffolding and giant rollers like they were building a pyramid, except in reverse and instead of a pyramid it's a banana peel.
- After completing the quest:
- Whew, what a relief. You managed to stop the garbage from falling, and I managed to sign a piece of paper that somehow resulted in all of that massive garbage being cleaned up. It's been a trying day for both of us, to be sure. Oh, maybe you can make use of this -- I guess one of the giants threw away some trash that, compared to how big we used to be, would be normal-sized trash, which would have been unusually small to the giants, but since we're so much smaller now but this thing is still the same size relative to us, that must mean it was inexplicably tiny to the giants? I don't know. Please take it away from here so I can stop wondering about it.
 | You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- Ah, Adventurer, excellent timing. We've just received a message from the Distant Lands -- it seems that your father, the renowned archaeologist, has gone missing. I wrote back and asked if they'd looked under the couch, down around the baseboards, that kind of thing, but they didn't write back. They may have assumed I was joking or drunk.
- Anyway, he left behind a diary or something that's supposed to go to you, but you have to go pick it up personally. As you can probably imagine, the passport office here isn't really prepared to make a full-sized passport, so you'll have to get one from the Black Market, which I'm told is in the forest somewhere. And then you can go to the Travel Agency and get a seat on the next radio-controlled toy plane heading out that way.
- Once you've got the diary, you should hopefully be able to track down the ancient Holy MacGuffin that your father was researching. If we're very lucky, it might be just the thing we need to fix this whole size deal. Probably it won't, but we can hope, right?
- Any luck getting your father's diary and recovering the Holy MacGuffin? If it turns out to be too big for you to carry, I could send... nah, never mind. I've seen how much junk you carry around with you all the time, you'll be fine.
- After completing the quest:
- You found the Holy MacGuffin? Great! ...Hmm, nothing seems to have changed. Well, maybe it takes some time to work? Or maybe it just does nothing. I don't know about you, but I know which one of those I'm betting on. Regardless, you did a great job. I'd like to reward you with a ticker-tape parade, but there's concern that it would be mistaken for a line of ants and get eaten by an aardvark. I can offer you this big armload of confetti, though. Maybe you can use them as handkerchiefs, or something.
- Adventurer, I've had some reports from our spies -- our spies are really good now, by the way -- that the hippies and frat boys who live on the Mysterious Island nearby are ratcheting up the tensions, and on the verge of war. Your mission, should you choose to accept it -- and by "should you choose" I mean "you have no choice but", you know how this works -- is to go to the island and get that war going.
- Now, I know what you're thinking: we have so much land now! We're tiny, our resource needs have become minuscule compared to before! What possible economic or political reason would justify such a reprehensible act of warmongering?
- Anyway, off you go, good luck!
- Hey, have you managed to start the war on the Mysterious Island yet? The usual methods of assassination are a bit trickier now I guess, but you do have a lot of new options. You could crawl into someone's ear and stab their brain. Or you could crawl up their nose and stab their brain. Or you could crawl up... well, that would be a much longer trip, probably not very convenient.
- Excellent work, Adventurer! Now that you've started the war on the Mysterious Island, your next task is...
- Are you ready for a surprise?
- Your next task is... to end the war by destroying one or both sides!
- Yes, I know that isn't very surpri-BOO!!
- Ha ha, got you!
- After defeating the hippies:
- Great job ridding the island of those smelly hippies, adventurer! And great job not asking me any questions about our justifications for doing so! I guess I don't actually need to give you any credit for that, seeing as how I'm not giving you any opportunity to ask questions or talk at all. But hey! I'm feeling generous!
- By the way -- just curious, were the hippies and frat boys shrunken down, like the rest of us humans? Or does it turn out they count as monsters?
- Ah, shucks, you can't answer me. Hoist by my own petard! Oh well!
| You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- After defeating the frat boys:
- Great job ridding the island of those awful frat boys, adventurer! And great job not asking me any questions about our justifications for doing so! I guess I don't actually need to give you any credit for that, seeing as how I'm not giving you any opportunity to ask questions or talk at all. But hey! I'm feeling generous!
- By the way -- just curious, were the hippies and frat boys shrunken down, like the rest of us humans? Or does it turn out they count as monsters?
- Ah, shucks, you can't answer me. Hoist by my own petard! Oh well!
| You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- After defeating both sides:
- Hey wow, amazing job! You got rid of both the frat boys and the hippies! Way to go! And great job not asking me any questions about our justifications for doing so! I guess I don't actually need to give you any credit for that, seeing as how I'm not giving you any opportunity to ask questions or talk at all. But hey! I'm feeling generous!
- By the way -- just curious, were the hippies and frat boys shrunken down, like the rest of us humans? Or does it turn out they count as monsters?
- Ah, shucks, you can't answer me. Hoist by my own petard! Oh well!
- All right, we've finally come up with a plan to fix this whole shrunkenness deal. One that doesn't require the aid of Rick Moranis. Are you ready to hear it?
- The plan is... to kill the Naughty Sorceress! Pretty good plan, right? I mean, she almost certainly caused of all this, so killing her should cancel the evil spell and change everything back. And if she didn't or it doesn't, hey, back to the drawing board, no harm no foul! Anyway, time is of the essence, because she's just announced some kind of contest at her tower near the Nearby Plains, and winning that contest is your best and probably only chance of getting to her.
- Good luck, Adventurer!
- Be strong, Adventurer! As strong as you can be when you're as small as you are. All our rulers shrank too, so I don't know how small that is, you know, specifically. Anyway my point is, you have to go defeat the Naughty Sorceress, so that our rulers will be useful for accurately measuring things again!
- After completing the quest, but before freeing the king:
- Be strong, Adventurer! As strong as... wait, what? You defeated the Naughty Sorceress? ...Huh. It doesn't seem like anything changed around here. Hmmmm.
- Maybe it wasn't the Sorceress's fault after all. Oh well!
- Say, she did have the King imprismed up on top of her tower though, right? Maybe if you go free him, he can fix this. I mean, it's worth a shot. I don't have any other suggestions, soooo...
- Yeah, I know climbing up all those steps was a huge pain in the butt. Look, you're the one who left him up there, not me.
