The Prince's Ball

The Prince's Ball is an area in the Distant Woods unlocked when you use a grimstone mask and choose to become the stepmother. In this zone you have 30 minutes to cause Cinderella social embarrassment, where each turn in the zone usage consumes 1 minute.

Your first adventure in any of these locations sets the stage:

Once upon a time, you scored an invitation to the Prince's yearly gala ball.

You don't particularly like the Prince, or the people that will be there. Most members of the aristocracy and the wealthy elite are, in your experience, extremely tedious. Blah blah, fox hunting. Blah blah, cocktail gowns. Blah blah, polo matches.

But you do like money. And you defintely^[sic] like power. And you've spent your entire life clawing your way up the social ladder, starting from the gutter at the very bottom, and this is your opportunity to make some real progress. Your goal is to be living in a mansion with servants waiting on your every beck and call -- and before you get too old to enjoy it. And from there, you'll be able to set up your daughters with husbands and mansions of their own -- because, let's face it, their personalities don't compare well even to their faces, so they certainly aren't going to manage it for themselves.

And everything was going fine, until your idiot stepdaughter Cinderella showed up. She breezed in even later than fashionable, and stole the show (and the Prince's full attention) with that dress and those ridiculous shoes! Where did she even get that outfit, anyway?

Well, you'll wonder about that later. Right now, you have one mission: destroy any pretense of upward social mobility that exists in that empty blonde coconut that Cindy calls a head. But you're going to have to be tricky about it. You can't just haul off and bust her one in the chops. Can't do anything that might reflect poorly on yourself.

You crack your knuckles and prepare to show your stepdaughter the true meaning of the phrase "social sabotage".

Ending

After 30 adventures / minutes the game ends, and you get see the results of your efforts:

(score of 1 to 10)

Just then, the clock strikes midnight. Cinderella gives a little yelp, and runs out of the mansion before anyone can ask her what's the matter. The Prince picks up a glass slipper that she accidentally left behind, and hands it to his butler. You move in closer so you can hear what he says, trying to look casual.

"Reginald, I must see that girl again," he says. "Hopefully, this shoe will help us track her down."

Dammit! Crap crap damn! You leave the party immediately, stopping only to dump a plate of canapés into your purse. On the carriage ride home, you start thinking of ways to rid yourself of that little good-for-nothing permanently.

Maybe you can get her lost in the woods, or something. Or... hmmm. Do you know any witches?

Well, whatever you come up with, you'll make damn sure that she doesn't live happily ever after.

Your final score was X points.

You acquire an item: leftover canapés

(score of 11-22)

Just then, the clock strikes midnight. Cinderella gives a little yelp, and runs out of the mansion before anyone can ask her what's the matter. The Prince picks up a glass slipper that she accidentally left behind, and hands it to his butler. You move in closer so you can hear what he says, trying to look casual.

"Get rid of this, will you Reginald?" he says. "Hopefully we won't be seeing that dreadful girl ever again. And see if anyone knows her name, so we can make sure she doesn't end up on any more guest lists."

You draw together every ounce of your willpower, straining, biting your tongue to keep yourself from raising your arms over your head and shouting "WAHOOOO!"

With that simpering nitwit out of your way, there won't be any more impediments as you claw your way up the social hierarchy. You're so happy, you might even give her an extra helping of gruel for dinner tomorrow.

You intercept the butler as he's carrying the glass slipper away, and offer to dispose of it for him -- he shrugs and gives it to you. You figure the only thing that could end this evening on a more satisfying note would be to smash it into powder with a heavy mallet.

As the party comes to a close, you fill your purse with leftover canapés and practically dance out the door.

And you live happily ever after.

Your final score was X points.

You acquire an item: leftover canapés

You acquire an item: glass slipper

(score of 23+)

Just then, the clock strikes midnight. Cinderella gives a little yelp, and runs out of the mansion before anyone can ask her what's the matter. The Prince picks up a glass slipper that she accidentally left behind, and hands it to his butler. You move in closer so you can hear what he says, trying to look casual.

"Get rid of this, will you Reginald?" he says. "Hopefully we won't be seeing that dreadful girl ever again. And see if anyone knows her name, so we can make sure she doesn't end up on any more guest lists."

You draw together every ounce of your willpower, straining, biting your tongue to keep yourself from raising your arms over your head and shouting "WAHOOOO!"

With that simpering nitwit out of your way, there won't be any more impediments as you claw your way up the social hierarchy. You're so happy, you might even give her an extra helping of gruel for dinner tomorrow.

You intercept the butler as he's carrying the glass slipper away, and offer to dispose of it for him -- he shrugs and gives it to you. You figure the only thing that could end this evening on a more satisfying note would be to smash it into powder with a heavy mallet.

As the party comes to a close, you fill your purse with leftover canapés, and notice an unopened magnum of seriously expensive champagne on the sideboard; with your coat draped over your arm, nobody notices the bottle in your hand as you leave. The prince owes you one for making his party a much more entertaining occasion than it otherwise would have been, right?

And you live happily ever after.

Your final score was X points.

You acquire an item: leftover canapés

You acquire an item: glass slipper

You acquire an item: magnum of fancy champagne

Notes

• Being in First Place on the Wickedest Stepmothers leaderboard at rollover rewards you with a silver cow creamer, if you have not received one in the past.
  • If First Place has already received a silver cow creamer, Second Place will receive it, and so on.