Swagger Jack runs Jack's Swagger Shack in Huggler Memorial Colosseum. It is also known as The Swagger Shop.
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Swagger Jack
"Howdy, pard. If you've got the swagger, we've got the swag."
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Items Sold
You have A swagger.
You've earned B swagger during a pirate season, yarrr.
You've earned C swagger during a holiday season, fun!
You've earned D swagger during an ice season, brrrr!
You've earned E swagger during a drunken season!
You've earned F swagger during bear season!
You've earned G swagger during a numeric season!
You've earned H swagger during an optimal season.
Notes
- On your first visit, if your character pre-dates the April 30, 2012 PvP update:
- In honor of your dedication and skill during the long PvP Pre-season, the judges have awarded you a bonus!*:
You gain some swagger (+X)
- The amount of pre-season swagger awarded is (pretty flowers picked / 25) + (White Canadians consumed / 2.5), rounded down.
- When you purchase something:
You trade some of your swagger for a slick new item!
 | You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- If you can't afford something:
You can't afford that! And don't think you can steal it either!
- If you try to buy something that isn't for sale:
That's not an item you can buy. Sociopath.
The Obligations of Ronin prevent you from turning in your swagger right now.
The Tenets of Hardcore prevent you from turning in your swagger right now.
- During special seasons, Swagger Jack has a different introduction (and sometimes, a different name). A special item is available for purchase only during that season, and you must acquire its entire purchase price in any season of that type in order to purchase it. The special swagger you've earned for that season only is displayed below your current total swagger.
- Attempting to purchase a special season item without enough special swagger results in this message:
- You must earn at least X swagger during <a(n)> <type> season to purchase this item.
- During a pirate season Swagger Jack's costume and introduction differ:
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Swagger Jack
"Ahoy, mate. If you be having the swagger, we be having the swag."
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- During a holiday season Swagger Jack is on vacation:
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Holiday Hal
"Happy Holidays! Jack's on vacation, but if you have swagger, spend it here to increase your Holiday Fun!"
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- During an ice season Swagger Jack is being helped out by a helpful snowflake:
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Flakey, the Helpful Snowflake
"It looks like you're trying to spend some swagger..."
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- During a drunken season Swagger Jack is unable to operate the shack:
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Bart Ender
"Jack doesn't have his liquor license, so I'm helping out this season. What'll it be, buddy?"
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- During a numeric season, the Spirit of Paul Erdõs is operating the shack:
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Spirit of Paul Erdõs
"I may not be with you phsyically[sic], but let's collaborate on some purchases. Just make sure and credit me when you publish."
(Huh, where's Jack?)
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- During an optimal season, Jack is replaced with a more optimal host:
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PvP Calcutron 3000
"Greetings contestant, Jack is... indisposed. Insert swagger, receive output."
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- Jack seems to operate the shack as normal during bear season.
History
- On August 07, 2013, puppet strings were temporarily removed from the swagger shop, presumably due to Hinch. When they returned, the price rose from 100 swagger to 101 swagger (and continued to rise for a while). CDMoyer said the price would go up by 1 every hour. This didn't happen for the first few hours, which made it seem as if it wasn't working, but then a few hours later it rose as predicted.
- [pvp] CDMoyer: Puppet strings are going up 1 swagger in price every hour until you collectively disavow hinch.
- The puppet string price was restored to normal (100 swagger) on ??.
- The first Pirate Season began on September 1, 2014.
- The first Holiday Season began on November 1, 2014.
- Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book! could not be purchased in Hardcore or Ronin until November 11, 2014.
- Flakey's Antagonistic Snowman Kit could not be purchased in Hardcore or Ronin until January 21, 2015.
- Before March 21, 2015, Bart Ender's name was "Bart Enter".
References
- To swagger jack someone is to copy their style or ideas.
- Swagger Jack may also refer to the WWE wrestler Jack Swagger.
- It looks like you're trying to figure out what Flakey, the Helpful Snowflake, is a reference to. Here are some suggestions:
- Read the Wikipedia article on Clippit/Clippy, the much-maligned Microsoft Office Assistant.
- Collaborating with Paul Erdős would put you among a crowd of over 500 other mathematicians with an Erdős number of 1.
See Also
Huggler Radio
insulting hat
offensive moustache
How to Hold a Grudge
fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
cursed microwave
cursed pony keg
hairshirt
How to Tolerate Jerks
puppet strings
bagged stuffed "L"
stuffed club
Black Bart's Booty
Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
Antagonistic Snowman Kit
Map to Kokomo
Essence of Bear
ROM of Optimality
Essence of Annoyance
