The Typical Tavern

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded. need below-maximum stat gain unit sizes

The Council of Loathing sends you on a quest to The Typical Tavern in The Distant Woods in order to take care of a bit of a rat problem.

You must have a minimum of 100 meat to adventure at the Tavern post-quest. If you have 99 meat or less, you receive the following message:

Why go to the tavern if you can't afford to drink?

Pre-Quest

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drunken rat
	Item Drops: rat whisker, rat appendix Meat Drops: 8-10 Substat Gain: 3

Post-Quest

If you are either a Teetotaler or an Oxygenarian, attempting to adventure here will get you this message:

You cannot adventure in the Tavern while you're on the Path you're on.

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With the exception of Len Scrafters, all adventures either take away n substat points, give you 2 * n substat points, or give you 5 * n substat points. The value of n depends on your level, but maxes out at level 15. At that level, n is equal to 50, so you can either lose 50, gain 100, or gain 250.

Level	n		Level	n		Level	n
3	?		8	?		12	?
4	?		9	?		13	?
5	?		10	?		14	?
6	?		11	?		15	50
7	?

All stat gains are subject to the phases of the moons, so the maximum gain you can get is 375 stat. (Are stat losses also boosted by moon phases?)

Losing adventures cost 100 meat, the minor wins cost 50 meat, and the major wins are covered by other bar patrons.

There is a rumor that wearing beer goggles while adventuring in the Typical Tavern would reduce the odds of getting a losing adventure; can anyone confirm or deny this?

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A guy walks up to you at a bar
	Item Drops: beer lens Meat Drops: None Substat Gain: None

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Bad Ideas Abound
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -100 Substat Gain: minus n (Muscle)

• 1 drunkenness

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Over the Top
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -50 Substat Gain: plus 2 * n (Muscle)

• 1 drunkenness

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Kegstand!
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: None Substat Gain: plus 5 * n (Muscle)

• 2 drunkenness

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Some Enchanted Evening
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -100x Substat Gain: minus n (Mysticality)

• 1 drunkenness

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Stupid Drunk Tricks
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -50 Substat Gain: plus 2 * n (Mysticality)

• 1 drunkenness

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Karmic Darts
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: None Substat Gain: plus 5 * n (Mysticality)

• 2 drunkenness

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Unmoxed
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -100 Substat Gain: minus n (Moxie)

• 1 drunkenness

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Moxious!
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: -50 Substat Gain: plus 2 * n (Moxie)

• 1 drunkenness

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Knock Knock...
	Item Drops: None Meat Drops: None Substat Gain: plus 5 * n (Moxie)

• 2 drunkenness