Waiter dressed as a ninja

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Revision as of 09:46, 20 June 2025 by imported>Name Guy Man (nowish)
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waiter dressed as a ninja You're fighting a waiter dressed as a ninja

This is an ordinary waiter dressed up as a silent, unstoppable killing machine. He's a lousy waiter because he's always lurking in the shadows, and he's a lousy ninja because he doesn't have any ninja training. But he's the owner's nephew, so no one has fired him yet.

Hit Message(s):

He pulls on the katana handle on his back, only to find that it's just a handle, not a whole sword. But he beats you with it, anyway. Ooh! Ouch!

He pulls out some nunchuku and manages to hit you once (while hitting everything else around him multiple times). Ouch! Argh!

He throws a shuriken at you. It goes way wide, bounces off a soup tureen, and hitsy ou[sic]? in the <groin>. Ugh! Ow!

He drops a smoke bomb. Okay, actually, it was just the salt shaker. Still, he manages to spill some salt into your wounds. Oof! Ow!

He trips over his split-toe shoes and spills split-pea soup down your front. Ooh! Eek! (hot damage)

He grabs a pepper grinder and whacks you with it, playing more to his waiterly strengths. Ooh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He picks up a couple of steak knives and flings them at you. Both of them miss, but they hit a huge dude behind you, and he's none too happy about it, so he beats the crap out of you. Oof! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He pulls on the katana handle on his back, only to find it's just a handle, not a whole sword.

He swings some nunchuku around, but it's clear he doesn't know what he's doing.

He throws a shuriken at you, but misses by a country mile.

He tries to lurk in the shadows, but you can see his waiter's white coat peeking out from under the ninja costume.

He trips over his split-toe shoes and splits his forehead open.

He twirls a giant pepper grinder like a bo staff, then drops it on his foot.

Fumble Message:

He stops fighting for a moment to split his tips with a busboy dressed as a samurai. Man, this place is crazy. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You gain 20-30 Meat (average: 25, stdev: 2.42)*
You acquire an item: crappy waiter disguise (20% chance)*
You acquire an item: breadchucks (10% chance)*
You acquire an item: shuriken salad (15% chance)*

Occurs at The Copperhead Club.

Notes