Talk:The Crimbot Factory
- Name on image: The Fully Automated Crimbo Factory
- Alt text on image: The Fully Automated Crimbo Town Toy Factory
- Last Adventure link name: The Crimbot Factory
So um yeah, I don't remember which one takes priority for page name, used to be image, but that was before name last adventure links existed. And now the alt text differs? And the page title above in blue just says "Results:" w/o Build a Bot, so that doesn't tie-brake anything.--JRSiebz (☎|§|‡) 08:18, 15 December 2014 (UTC)
I have NO idea where the actual content is going, or how to format it, so I'm doing a raw text dump here for someone else to clean up.
The Lobby
The Crimbot's camera feed shows what used to be the lobby of the Crimbo Town Toy Factory, now shot through with random wires and tubes and stuff. It looks like you can send the robot past the receptionist's desk to the first floor fairly easily, but the door leading to the stairwell is latched and the elevator down to the basement has some kind of access panel wired up to it.
[door.open(floor_1)] FREE
- M-66 Space Asking Unit goes through the door.
[mount / stairs] PINCH
- No way of knowing yet
[wait(elevator)] DECODE
- No way of knowing yet
Turretbot
The camera reveals a ceiling-mounted turret between your Crimbot and the door to the next room.
[RUN BLAST.BAS] BLAM
- With a single well-aimed shot (don't get cocky, it was computer-assisted,) your Crimbot disables the turret and moves into the next area.
[sleep(1000)] FREE
The Monster Masher!
The camera reveals that your Crimbot is in a room whose walls are slowly grinding closer together -- you must have accidentally directed it into some sort of trash compactor!
[masher->hack()] ZAP ZAP
[return null;] FREE
- You watch as M-66 Space Asking Unit is rendered slightly narrower.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Office Space
The camera reveals that staple of modern life -- the depressing, sparse office. You can see a desk, a filing cabinet, and an uncomfortable chair.
[open /home/desktop] FREE
- You watch as your Crimbot yanks a drawer out of the desk and overturns it into a pneumatic recovery tube.
 | You acquire an item: recovered elf sleeping pills |
or
 | You acquire an item: recovered elf magazine |
[UNZIP FILING.CAB] POW POW
- M-66 Space Asking Unit pounds on the file cabinet until it opens, revealing a schematic. You quickly press the print button.
 | You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Rodent Gun |
Down In Flames
The camera reveals a hallway whose walls are lined with flame-spewing pipes. What could the point of this place be? What possible Crimbo purpose could this serve?
[repeat 10 [ fd 50 ] ] FREE
- M-66 Space Asking Unit takes on a decidedly more post-apocalyptic appearance as it slowly gets more and more burned.
Your Crimbot takes 2 damage.
[gunup fd 500 gundown] BLAM BLAM
- L-27 Tax Depending Unit manages to bend most of the pipes shut by shooting them.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Zippybot
The camera reveals a fast-moving wheeled robot darting around on the floor in front of your Crimbot.
[floor = monkey; monkey.shock();] ZAP
- M-66 Space Asking Unit electrifies the floor. The Zippybot stops moving and starts comically emitting black smoke.
[wait(200);] FREE
- Your Crimbot tries to wait until the obnoxious little robot leaves, but ends up tripping over it anyway.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Some People Call It A Giant Slingblade
The camera reveals that your Crimbot is in a room dominated by a single giant fast-moving circular sawblade. Why does this room even exist?
[pathfind(HIGH_EVASION)] RUN RUN
- You watch M-66 Space Asking Unit skillfully pilot itself past the fast-moving sawblade.
[do while 1 walkforward] FREE
- Extensive Range-Bot B-01 moves as fast as it can, but it turns out to not be fast enough to avoid having some parts of it sawed off.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
The Dark Closet Returns
The camera feed shows some kind of storage closet. It's pretty dark inside, and you don't see any kind of light switch.
[GRAB.COM] FREE
- Typical Post-Bot U-82 grabs a random object from a shelf and tosses it into a pneumatic recovery tube.
 | You acquire an item: recovered elf toothbrush |
[ILLUMINATE.EXE] LIGHT
- With more of the closet visible, M-66 Space Asking Unit is able to carelessly sweep two objects into a pneumatic recovery tube.
You acquire an item: recovered elf magazine You acquire an item: recovered elf underpants You acquire an item: recovered elf toothbrush
Closing Time
The camera reveals a long hallway, and a distant door slowly but surely grinding itself closed.
[set speed = mosey;] FREE
- Third Reason-Bot E-29 doesn't quite make it through the door in time, and ends up leaving a little bit of itself behind.
Your Crimbot takes 2 damage.
[set speed = gallop;] RUN RUN
- M-66 Space Asking Unit darts through the door before it closes, but stubs its toe on something on the other side.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Bulkybot
The camera reveals an oversized but simple robot standing between your Crimbot and the way forward. [for ($i=1;$i<10;$i++) punch();] POW
- Your Crimbot topples the Bulkybot. It's as easy as knocking over a vending machine!
[break;] FREE
Tin Door. Rusted.
Your Crimbot's camera reveals a big metal door that has been corroded by caustic chemicals to the point where it can no longer be opened normally.
[while (1) shoot();] BLAM BLAM
- Typical Post-Bot U-82 shoots a Crimbot-sized hole in the door, through which it then proceeds.
[repeat (10){ grease.apply() }}] LUBE
- No way of knowing yet
[DEFAULT:] FREE
- You sigh as you watch Nonsensical Report-Bot D-60 repeatedly smash itself against the wall next to the door until it finally breaks through.
Your Crimbot takes 2 damage.
Gone With The Wind
The slight wobble of the camera reveals that your Crimbot must traverse a wind tunnel to proceed.
[gfortran forward.f] FREE
- You watch as L-63 Lake Reminding Unit wobbles slowly forward against the wind, repeatedly getting hit in the face with flying debris.
Your Crimbot takes 2 damage. [fan.speed=0] POW POW
- Nonsensical Report-Bot D-60 punches the fan until it stops blowing. It only hurts a little.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Inadequate Copy Room Security
The camera reveals what was apparently once a copy room. Further investigation reveals a Crimbot schematic carelessly left in the tray of a photocopier.
[perl eyes.pl] FREE
- L-63 Lake Reminding Unit focuses on the document long enough for you to print a copy.
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Rodent Gun |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Security Chassis |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Power Arm |
Getting Your Bearings
The camera reveals that your Crimbot's only way forward is through a room that appears to be designated for loose ball bearing storage.
[vlc comedy.avi] FREE
- You groan as L-63 Lake Reminding Unit repeatedly falls down on the ball bearings. The speaker blares an obnoxious laugh track.
Your Crimbot takes 2 damage. [vlc drama.mp4] ROLL
- Crazy Spending-Bot P-06 manages to traverse the entire floor, only falling down once. Through the speaker, the audience oohs and ahhs.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Security Drone
The camera reveals that your Crimbot has been detained by a low-level hovering security robot.
[shoot[0]] BLAM
- The speaker crackles with gunfire as L-27 Tax Depending Unit dispatches the security drone.
[SHORTCIRCUIT.BAT] ZAP
[for x = 1 to 1000 : position = position +1 : next x] FREE
Conveyor, Convey Thyself
The floor of the room your Crimbot is in is a maze of rapid conveyor belts, and the panel that controls their speed is on the opposite side of the room!
[maze.solve(fast)] BLAM BLAM
- Surrounding Assistance-Bot H-97 aims its guns at the control panel and shoots/shuts down the conveyor belts.
[maze.solve(slow)] FREE
- You watch in horror as Surrounding Assistance-Bot H-97 clumsily navigates the moving walkways, falling all over itself.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Paperchase
The camera reveals a whirlwind of sheets of paper -- maybe some kind of climate control malfunction combined with some kind of filing cabinet accident?
[sheet_get(random)] FREE
- Surrounding Assistance-Bot H-97 grabs one of the sheets and holds it in front of its camera long enough for you to make a printout.
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Security Chassis |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Mega Vise |
or
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs |
When finished:
The camera feed goes black as M-66 Space Asking Unit's systems suffer a catastrophic failure.
--Chyld (talk) 14:36, 15 December 2014 (UTC)
I'll add my results as well (and some results to the above entries):
Doorbot
The door you're trying to steer your Crimbot through turns out to be a robot.
[set door_protocol _PUNCH] POW
- Your Crimbot easily punches the Doorbot open. Turns out it wasn't even latched!
[set door_protocol _SHOCK] ZAP
- Your Crimbot shocks the door, causing it to open violently with a shower of sparks and a metallic gasp.
[set door_protocol _GO_AROUND] FREE
- Typical Post-Bot U-82 goes around the door, which involves plowing headfirst through a wall.
Your Crimbot takes 1 damage.
Mookbot
The camera reveals a confrontation between your Crimbot and a small but thuggish-looking robot.
[gun.shoot()] BLAM
- Don't bring a robo-fist to a robo-gunfight. That's what somebody should have told that Mookbot. Your Crimbot makes short work of it and proceeds.
[blam_pow_socko] POW
- You press the button and Third Reason-Bot E-29 punches the Mookbot. The speaker relays a satisfying crunching sound.
[sleep()] FREE
The Unhurt Locker
The camera shows the interior of an elf dormitory room. You're about to leave and resume exploring when you catch a glimpse of an unlocked footlocker near the tiny bed.
[/bin/raid/locker] FREE
- Third Reason-Bot E-29 flips over the foot locker, dumping its contents into a pneumatic recovery tube.
| You acquire an item: recovered elf toothbrush |
or
 | You acquire an item: recovered elf underpants |
or
| You acquire an item: recovered elf sleeping pills |
Locker Room
The camera reveals the interior of what must have been an employee locker room. You pause to wonder what kind of stuff they do in a Crimbo Elf gym.
[open locker; get all from locker; n;] FREE
- Third Reason-Bot E-29 loots the locker (which doesn't turn out to contain much) and drops the spoils into a pneumatic recovery tube.
| You acquire an item: recovered elf magazine |
or
| You acquire an item: recovered elf toothbrush |
The Dilemma
The camera, by showing you both a desk and a restroom door, presents your Crimbot with the classic workplace choice: Pretend to work, or don't even bother.
[paper.shuffle()] FREE
- L-27 Tax Depending Unit pretends to work for a while. Even pretending to work yields a usable document, though.
| You acquire an item: Crimbot schematic: Rivet Shocker |
[break; // restroom] FREE
- Typical Post-Bot U-82 takes a well-deserved break in the restroom, and even finds a discarded object on the counter next to the sink.
| You acquire an item: recovered elf sleeping pills |
or
| You acquire an item: recovered elf magazine |
Crate Expectations
The camera reveals a big stack of metal bins between your Crimbot and its goal.
[/bin/bash] POW POW
- You direct Q-50 Life Investing Unit to knock over the pile of crates.
[/dev/climb] FREE
War of Gears
The camera reveals a room that clearly wasn't intended to be walked through -- the floor is a writhing and creaking mass of interlocked gears and cogs and stuff.
[break; break; break;] POW POW
- You press the button and watch with glee as Crazy Spending-Bot P-06 pounds the crap out of the gears until they stop turning.
[ceil(float(self))] HOVER
[while (0) nothing;] FREE
If you Self-Destruct:
Having served its purpose, H-55 Future Focusing Unit engages its emergency explosion system. The camera feed goes dark.
