User:LoopyChew

He launches a stick of dynamite at you, while raving madly. This is brilliant to him, and painful to you. Eek! Oof! Ugh! Ouch!

He hurls a length of string at you while ballroom dancing, and you get all tango'd up in it and trip over. Eek! Ugh! Argh!

He launches a stick of dynamite at you, but misses and ends up burning the floor.

He hurls a length of string at you, but you quickstep out of the way.

You gain 11-12 <substat>.

Notes

Initially started as a Disco Bandit. Has, to date, ascended fourteen times, of which thirteen were Hardcore. His ascension history to date can be found in his signature in the KoL forums.
Member of the private clan Furniture Warriors.
Frequent browser and occasional poster to both the Forums and the Sored and Saucery community on LiveJournal. Has been known to pluralize "forums" as "fora" occasionally.
Has unlocked 46 tattoos, of which 12 are the standard and one-shiny class tattoos; 22 trophies, inculding the Yeti trophies, This Lousy Trophy, and the Crimbo 2006 trophies; and contributed a marginal amount of meat and booze to the Council's efforts against the Penguin Mafia.
Goals include being a recognized Haiclue master on forums and, after making all skills HP and attaining an Oxycore suit, reaching L15 and attempting a single, continuous run in Fernswarthy's Basement until, at least, he reaches the elusive -1 Bottles of Beer on a Golem. Also on a probably-futile quest to make the term "Spardcore" a commonly-accepted term for Speed Hardcore runs.