Cruel dust mote
| Cruel dust mote | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 940 |
| Locations | Professor Jacking's Small-O-Fier |
| Hit Points | 100 |
| Attack | 75 |
| Defense | 67 |
| Initiative | 40 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | weird |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | particle |
| Drops | boulder |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a cruel dust moteThis is a piece of dirt, but it's not all that you are standing on today. No, it's a speck that's tired of dancing through shafts of light, aggregating with others into dust bunnies, and lodging in people's eyes (and the subsequent judging by people with whole planks in their eyes). It's mad as a mote can be, and it's determined to smite you until you're thoroughly smote.
Hit Message(s):
It wafts forward and you pass completely through it, emerging on the other side dusty and skeeved out. Eek! Ooh! Ugh! (sleaze damage)
It wafts into you and knocks you tiny ass over tiny teakettle. Ooh! Argh! Ow! Ow!
It sticks part of itself up your nose, and you sneeze so hard you see stars and spots. Ow! Ow! Eek! Eek!
It tries to waft into your eye, but you're so small it ends up whacking you in the face instead. Ow! Eek! Ugh! Ooh!
It joins with a few other motes to make a miniature dust bunny, which tramples you faster than you can say, "kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!" Ow! Ugh!
It gets caught in a tiny cross-breeze and gets blown back a few inches.
It spins in a circle, caught in a microcurrent of air.
It gets scooped up into an egg-timer, and has to wait three minutes before it attacks you again. Well, at least it wasn't an hourglass.
It blows in the wind for a moment, a poignant metaphor for our brief lives (or for a crappy prog-rock band).
It dances briefly in a sunbeam. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: boulder (30% chance)* |
References
- "Piece of dirt / That is all I'm standing on today" are the opening lyrics of "Piece of Dirt" by They Might Be Giants.
- The parable of the mote and the beam is a speech against hypocrisy that appears in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in the New Testament: "Judge not, that ye be not judged.... And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:1-5)
- The lyrics "Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!" were famously intoned by Loony Tunes character Elmer Fudd in the acclaimed 1957 short feature What's Opera, Doc? The lines are sung to the tune of the "Ride of the Valkyries".
- In 1977, the prog-rock band Kansas released the song which would turn out to be their only top ten hit: an acoustic track entitled "Dust in the Wind," which attempted to offer a poignant metaphor for our brief lives.
