Dairy goat
She pulverizes your <eye> with her fearsome udders. Argh! Eek! Ooh! Ow!
She charges at you and gives you two horns right in the <eye>. Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow!
She charges at you and gives you two horns right in the leg. Yes, female goats can have horns. Look it up, I ain't your damn search engine. Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow!
She smacks you with one cloven hoof. Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Ugh!
She squirts goat milk right into your <eye>. Ick! Ow! Ooh! Argh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)
She swings her udder at you, but misses. She's an udder failure. Yeah, go ahead and punch me in the face.
She tries to charge at you and headbutt, but her swingin' udders slow her down. Five lessons learned for her, I guess.
She squirts goat milk at you, but for you, dodging is a feta compli.
She triest to smack you with her hoof, but you hoof it out of the way.
 | You acquire 20.4% chance glasses of goat's milk |
 | You acquire 39.2% chance wedges of goat cheese |
You gain 13-14 <substat>
Occurs in The Goatlet.
References
- One of the miss messages references the punk band $wingin' Utter$, and their 1998 album Five Lessons Learned.
- A female goat, or nanny, can in fact have horns.
- The "feta compli" in the third miss message is a pun combining fait accompli and feta, a type of cheese often made from goat's milk.
