"Santa Claus"
| "Santa Claus" | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2469 |
| Locations | Christmas Island |
| Hit Points | ? |
| Attack | ? |
| Defense | unknown |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, beard, belly, head, leg |
| Drops | Bowl of Infinite Jelly |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting "Santa Claus""So. The pretender's champion has arrived."
You turn to see a large fat man in a red fur-lined coat, with a big bushy white beard. His cheeks are not so much "rosy" as "flushed with hatred".
"Who the heck are you?" you ask.
"I am known by many names. 'Santa Claus' is the most common one at the moment. And if you think I will let some jumped-up parody steal my pride of place on the calendar, you are sorely mistaken!"
"Parody? What do you mean?"
"Crimbo," he says with a sneer, dragging the word out disgustedly. "Crimbo. Ridiculous! The holiday is and always will be named Christmas, and I am its lord! 'Uncle Crimbo'? 'Abuela Crimbo'? Absurd! Don't make me laugh! For full twenty years I have suffered this affront! But this time, now that you have shown your face here, in the Holiday Archipelago, I will finally have the chance to crush you under my heel!"
"Has it for serious been twenty-one years?" you say. "Holy crap."
Hit Message(s):
He leaps into the air and performs a diving belly-flop attack, crushing you under the weight equivalent of a really big bowl of jelly. Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Ouch! Eek! Ouch! Ow!
He decks you right in the halls. Ow! Ow! Argh! Ouch! Argh! Oof! Argh! Ugh!
He clobbers you with a sack of toys that feels like it's mostly wooden trains and sharp-cornered dollhouses. Ouch! Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Oof! Ow! Argh! Ooh!
Something about 'slay bells'? Couldn't really find the phrasing for this one. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Ugh! Ow! Ow!
He presses the button on a remote control, and launches a barrage of ho-ho-homing missiles. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ugh! Argh! Ooh! Oof! Argh! Eek! Oof! Argh!
He leaps into the air for a diving attack, but you manage to nimbly roll out of the way and then jump the follow-up shockwave.
He tries to attack you with a bough of holly, but while holly may be thorny, it isn't really heavy enough to serve as a melee weapon.
He clobbers you with a sack of toys, but it seems like this one's mostly teddy bears.
???
He lays a finger aside of his nose. I'm not sure what that gesture's supposed to mean exactly, but it's probably rude. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: Bowl of Infinite Jelly (100% chance)* |
Occurs on Christmas Island.
