A Few Chintz Curtains, Some Throw Pillows...
You glance around the dusty, cobweb-strewn hallway, deciding where next to explore. A heavy oaken door looms before you, and stairs wind their way upwards into the gloom, and downwards into darkness.
None of these three choices appear likely to lead you somewhere nice, but then it's a haunted mansion. You're not particularly expecting to stumble on a hidden entrance to FAO Schwartz.
| Descend |
- Without the Night Vision effect:
You head down the stairs, and eventually find yourself in the wine cellar. After some more wandering around, you find yourself lost in a series of underground catacombs, so dark that you can't see your hand in front of your face, or any other part of you anywhere else.
There isn't any bright side to look on, what with it being so dark and all, but if there was, you might consider it a bonus that at least you won't be able to see anything that would upset you. Thank goodness for small comforts, eh?
Fortunately, after a long period of stumbling around randomly and banging your head into things, you emerge from the mouth of a cave somewhere and manage to regain your bearings. And your fan belt.
- With the Night Vision effect:
You head down the stairs and eventually find yourself in the wine cellar. After some more wandering around, you find yourself in a dark labyrinth of catacombs, and after some more wandering around, you find yourself inextricably lost. See what wandering around in spooky Gothic mansions gets you? Maybe you'll know better next time. (Probably not.)
Fortunately, you encounter a man doing some repair work on one of the walls, and ask him if he can give you directions. "Sure," he says. "In fact, I'll be glad to lead you out myself, if you'll help me finish up this brickwork."
As you fetch an armload of bricks from a nearby pile, a strange noise makes you pause. "Did you hear that?" you ask.
"Oh, don't worry about that," he says. "That's just the plumbing. The pipes in this place are positively antique."
"It sounds like screaming."
"Yes, well, you get that. Old house, you know. Could be the furnace, too," he adds, as he mortars in the last brick. "It's a bit, er, screamy."
On the way back, he taps a cask of brandy and pours you some by way of thanks. Nice!
 | You acquire an item: flask of Amontillado |
| Open the door |
You push the door open, and find yourself in a large ballroom furnished in ancient style, with tapestries adorning the stone walls and the space lit by flickering torches. There appears to be some kind of commotion, and you push through a crowd of party-goers to find a dwarf in a jester's cap-and-bells fastening a chain around a group of fearsome and horrible-looking apes. He catches your eye and, calling for your assistance, gestures at a crank on the far wall. You bend your back to the task, and soon the apes have been winched far up into the air, quite out of reach of the frightened partyers.
The jester commends you on a job well done and invites you to stay for the rest of the event, but you decide to continue exploring the house instead. It doesn't look like there'll be much more of interest or excitement in here tonight, no matter how many bags of marshmallows the dwarf pulls out of that cupboard.
| You gain ? Beefiness. |
| Ascend |
- Without the Dancing Prowess effect:
You poke your head into one of the rooms upstairs, and find a large ballroom with a fancy-dress party already in progress. You consider going in and mingling for a bit, but then you see them lining up for one of those elaborate, intricate waltzes that require a choreographer with an engineering degree to set up, and decide to sit this one out.
- With the Dancing Prowess effect:
On one of the upper floors of the mansion, you discover a costume-party in full swing, in several rooms lit by braziers behind colorful stained-glass windows. The effect is a bit like a discotheque, only with even stranger outfits than usual.
They invite you to join them in an elaborate waltz, and afterward, you approach one of the revellers and ask what the celebration is about. "The Gray Plague," he says. "We have sealed ourselves away from the outside world, to avoid that terrible malady, and now we party while the world ends beyond these walls."
"What? Man, the Gray Plague was over ages ago. The world didn't end -- everyone's fine."
"What, really?" he asks. "That's strange, we didn't hear about that at all!"
"Well, this place is kinda out in the middle of nowhere. I guess you got overlooked."
"But it's safe to leave the house? The Plague has been eradicated?"
"I don't know about eradicated, exactly... there was a vaccine. So, I guess technically it could still be spread from an innoculated carrier to someone who hadn't been given treatment. I'm an adventurer, not a doctor."
"I suppose we'll have to be careful about letting people into the house, then. Until we can get a supply of this vaccine you speak of. -cough-"
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. ...Are you okay? You're looking kind of pale."
"I do feel a bit under the weather. Perhaps I've had too much caviar. -cough- But excuse me, I must tell everyone the news!"
You watch as the man stumbles away to spread the word, and then help yourself to some snacks, as well as a fancy mask that someone left on the buffet table.
 | You acquire an item: fancy ball mask |
Occurs at The Mouldering Mansion.
References
- The title of this adventure is probably a reference to the Mel Brooks film Young Frankenstein. Stumbling upon his grandfather's old lab, Frederick Frankenstein says, "What a filthy mess!" Igor responds, "Oh, I don't know, a little paint, some flowers, a couple of throw pillows..." and cuts off sheepishly when he sees the looks the other characters are giving him.
- The first adventure refers to Poe's "The Cask of Amontillado".
- The second adventure refers to Poe's "Hop-Frog".
- The third adventure refers to Poe's "The Masque of the Red Death".
- The third adventure also refers to a point in KoL history called The Gray Plague.
- FAO Schwarz is a famous toy store in New York City, featured in the films Godspell, Big, and Mighty Aphrodite.
