Alice, the Ghostly Librarian
What's that dear? You're looking for the Boock of Darck Magicks? That's such a nasty little book, that is. Why don't you look in the children's section over there? There's some very pretty picture books you'll like much better. They won't give you bad dreams, or make you accidentally summon a universe-eating Elder God!
You have to have the Boock of Darck Magicks? Okay, then, I'll get it for you. Just let me see your library card and I'll --
You don't have a library card? Well, I suppose I can still loan you the book, so long as you do a little favor for me first. I was just coating all the cards in the card catalog with a fresh load of ectoplasm, when some wise-cracking, balding smartass came in and wiped it all off into a Petri dish! I need to re-slime the cards, but I'm fresh out of ectoplasm. If you can find some nice undaed entity who can loan me some extra ectoplasm, I'll give you the boock.
After obtaining the vial of ectoplasm:
Oh dear, do you need a tissue? Oh, I see, that's the ectoplasm I wanted. Thanks so much for popping off and fetching it for me, deary! Here's that boock of darck magicks you wanted. Now don't you go summoning the devil on an empty stomach! And remember, always wait half an hour after eating before contacting any dark forces!
Now if you'll excuse me, dear, I see that balding smart-ass scientist is here again. I'm going to go turn myself into a hideously evil apparition and swoop down at him!
 | You acquire an item: boock of darck magicks |
Occurs at The Haunted Library.
Notes
- Occurs during the Going Postal Quest.
References
- Most likely refers to many arcane tomes having "Olde English" spellings.
- The ghost's interactions with the "balding smart-ass scientist" are a reference to the 1984 comedy movie Ghostbusters, where Bill Murray likewise wiped some ectoplasm into a petri dish for Egon: "Egon, your mucus." The ghost's name is probably also a reference to that film -— Alice was the name of the the non-ghostly librarian who sees the ghost librarian in the opening scene.
- The reference to the Universe Eating Eldar-God may have a connection to Bel-Shamharoth in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchet
