An Elf Reindeerstler
An Elf Reindeerstler is located in the 2016 incarnation of Crimbo Town after aligning Uncle Crimbo's Jelly Chakra.
- After aligning Uncle Crimbo's Jelly Chakra:
"Hello there," says the weary-looking elf as he adjusts his festive plush reindeer antlers. "You must be the adventurer helping out with the thing. Chakras."
"That's right," you reply.
"I'm Antlers, Uncle Crimbo's reindeerstler."
"I assume that's like a hostler, but for reindeer?"
"Yeah, got it in one. Used to be a much easier job, let me tell you. Back before they started walking upright and demanding that the workers 'control the means of production', whatever that's supposed to mean in the context of pulling a sleigh."
"Huh. So you're, what, like a management liaison now?"
"Yeah. if I can get anyone to actually listen to my liaising."
"Well, look on the bright side, at least you don't have to muck out the stalls anymo-- no, actually, I bet you do, don't you?"
"You catch on quick. And let me tell you, there's nothing better for morale than shovelling the dung of a guy who can sneer while he tells you you missed a spot. Anyway, enough about my problems, you need to know about the next chakra. It's Reindeer."
"Huh," you say, furrowing your brow. "That's even less an actual part of Uncle Crimbo's body than his... his toy bag."
"Yeah, but the reindeer are fundamental to the whole thing, right? Flying reindeer pulling a sleigh. Without them, he's no different than the guy on the corner, ringing a bell for the Salvation Army. The Reindeer chakra represents his magicalness, his powers that make the whole crazy deal of delivering toys to every kid in the world actually work. Despite the fact that it's us elves that actually make the toys and run everything. Not that I'm bitter."
"Right. Okay, I'll let you know how it goes."
"Yeah. Good luck."
- Subsequent visits (before aligning Uncle Crimbo's Reindeer Chakra):
"Oh hey," Antlers says. "Have you seen any of the reindeer around? I'm supposed to set up the flight schedules for Crimbo Eve, but I can't find a single one of those assh-- I mean, guys."
"No, sorry," you say. "Not since last year, when they electronically linked all their minds together and tried to fight some kind of ancient god by standing on top of each others' shoulders."
"Great. Sure, yeah. That sounds like something they'd do. Probably just to annoy me. How's the chakra coming along?"
"Oh, you know, it's... coming along."
"Uh-huh," he says, shuffling through the papers on his clipboard and not really listening. "Cool, cool. Keep it up."
- After aligning Uncle Crimbo's Reindeer Chakra:
"Hey Antlers, good news," you say. "I fixed the Reindeer chakra!" "Hey, that's great!" Antlers says, beaming. "I've got good news too, look! I found a new reindeer!" He points at a young reindeer standing nearby, grazing on a straggly clump of winter grass. "A regular four-leg one! He doesn't talk or anything! He just wandered up a few minutes ago! It's a Crimbo miracle!"
"Wow! Congratulations! Er... he's still pretty small, can he pull a sleigh all by himself?"
"Oh the sleigh basically runs on its own, the reindeer are just to keep it from looking weird and empty up front. He'll be fine. I think I'll name him Ruhig! It's German for 'Quiet'!"
"Nice. So, the next chakra?"
"I'm not sure who's in charge of the next one. If you don't see anyone new around, they'll show up tomorrow."
