Big Wisnaqua
| Big Wisnaqua | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1612 |
| Locations | The Hippy Camp (Wartime) |
| Hit Points | 2000 |
| Attack | 260 |
| Defense | 240 |
| Initiative | 60 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | arm, body, head, leg |
| Drops | Wet Russian |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting the Big WisnaquaYou walk through the carnage of the battlefield, feeling righteous indignation at all the injuries the frat boys and hippies have wrought upon each other. I mean, beating those guys up is supposed to be your job! What makes them think they can--*sploosh*
You look down at your trapped left foot, and see that some genius stuck a toilet out in the middle of the battlefield, and you've stepped right off of the body of a slain frat boy into it. Gross!
You yank your foot out. The toilet gurles, then a spout of water explodes out of it, shooting up as tall as a man, then coalescing into the watery shape of a hippy wearing a bathrobe and holding a bowling ball.
"The money wasn't down there, man," he says, then spots you. "I have an idea, he says, "why don't you go have a look?"
Hit Message(s):
He tries to make himself a White Canadian, but keeps diluting it with...er, with himself. He finally gets frustrated and just throws the glass at you. Oof! Ooh! Ow!
He forms a baseball bat out of water, says something about "finding a stranger in the Alps," and beats you with it. Eek! Argh! Ugh!
He pulls out a watery marmot and throws it at you, all claws and teeth. Oof! Argh! Eek!
He flicks filthy water at you. It smells like tar, garbage, and that sweet smoke the hippies enjoy inhaling. Ooh! (stench damage)
He thumps you with his watery bowling ball. It's a striking attack. Ooh!
He grabs a rusty piece of metal out of the wreckage and severs your toe. "Sorry, gonna need this, man," he says. Ooh!
He slams your head down into the toilet, gives you a massive swirly, then bangs the lid down on the back of your neck until it breaks. Er, until the lid breaks, that is. And your neck. Ooh!
The Big Wisnaqua falls to his watery knees, panting. "You can't beat me, man," he says, a serene look on his face. "We are, like, one, you know? One mind...one love...one heart..."
"Don't give me that hippy crap," you snarl, but he holds a finger up to his lips.
"Nah, man, I mean, like, we who serve the Rain King, we're all just pieces of him, y'know? He's in all the water everywhere, man. You can't kill me because I'm part of him." And with that, the Big Wisnaqua loses his shape and splashes on the ground, joining with the water everywhere.
"Man, it bugs me when hippies are right," you quip, and turn to walk away.
"Wait a minute, man," a voice burbles from the puddle, "could you check and make sure the hippy jewelrymaker turned off his welding torch?"
BOOM.
The hippy camp explodes in a massive fireball, which is quickly quenched by the pouring rain.
 | You acquire an item: Wet Russian (% chance)* |
Occurs at The Hippy Camp (Wartime).
Notes
- Damage dealt to the Big Wisnaqua has a hard cap of 200 damage per source and round. However multiple sources of damage are capped individually, allowing for higher damage to be dealt per round.
- The fight with this monster takes place with a water depth of 6.
- Unlike the Big Wisniewski, this fight can only last 30 rounds.
