Black Crayon Constellation
| Black Crayon Constellation | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1206 |
| Locations | Anywhere, with an Artistic Goth Kid equipped (after fighting a constellation-type monster) |
| Hit Points | 75% of Defense |
| Attack | Moxie (cap at 10 000) |
| Defense | Muscle (cap at 10 000) |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | constellation |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | star, line |
| Drops | crayon shavings |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Black Crayon ConstellationWhen you're lying on the grass on your back, exhausted from crying after your fascist Dad made you do your homework before listening to your Bauhaus albums, it seems like the stars are the only things that understand you. They're out in the cold limitless void, shining because they're burning to death, distant and unfeeling yet somehow cruelly kind.
And those five over there totally look like a penis, if you connect the lines right.
Hit Message(s):
It burns you with one of its stars, which are made of hot black wax rather than burning gas. Ow! Eek! Oof! (hot damage)
It reminds you of your insignificance in the universe, freaking you out a little. Ow! Eek! Argh! (spooky damage)
It garrotes you with one of its connecting lines. Argh! Ugh! Ugh!
It hits you with all five points of one of its stars. Eek! Ow! Eek!
It settles around you and squeezes, poking you with the points of its stars, its lines leaving black crayon marks all around your chest. Stupid stars. Eek! Ow! Ouch! Ugh!
It tries to burn you with a star, but it's made of black wax, not burning gas.
It tries to hit you with a star, but you avoid getting starstruck.
It tries to garrote you with one of its lines, but you keep your hand at the level of your eyes.
It tries to remind you of your insignificance in the universe, but you remain unshaken in your narcissism.
You point out that one of its stars actually has six points, and it stops to check to see if you're lying or not. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: crayon shavings (100.0% chance)* |
Occurs anywhere, with Artistic Goth Kid equipped (after fighting a constellation-type monster)
References
- Bauhaus is a British goth-rock band.
- According to the Astronomers of the Times of Old, all constellations sometimes look like penises.
