Box of Crafty Dinner
| Box of Crafty Dinner | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1464 |
| Locations | every 35-40 adventures during Peripatetic Pasta |
| Hit Points | ? |
| Attack | ? |
| Defense | unknown |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | weird |
| Elements | sleaze |
| Resistance | 100% |
| Monster Parts | arm, box, leg, noodles, powder |
| Drops | handful of crafty noodles, handful of crafty noodles |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Box of Crafty DinnerThis is a box of ancient, dry macaroni noodles with a little pouch of orange powder next to it. You're supposed to boil the noodles, drain them, then pour the powder on them and mix it with butter so it sort of approximates some kind of cheese sauce.
Not only is it gross, but this particular box seems even more shifty than usual. You don't like the way it's leering at you, and it doesn't even have a face.
Hit Message(s):
It gives you a papercut, then blows gross orange powder in the wound. Oof! Ooh! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
It hits you with its box, while making lewd jokes about "the box." Oof! Ouch! Oof! (sleaze damage)
It opens its box and shows you what's inside, in a really unsettling way. Eek! Argh! Oof! (sleaze damage)
It pelts you with noodles. You notice that they're shaped like a fairly intimate part of a man's anatomy. Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
It puffs some of that gross orange powder on you. You immediately wipe it off, but it stains your skin. Eek! Eek! Eek! (sleaze damage)
It blows that gross orange powder at you, and some of it gets in your mouth. It tastes like cheese the same way a zombie looks like a person. Ooh! Argh! Eek! (sleaze damage)
It rips the top off its box, flashes you the pasta within, then coats you in gross orange powder. You feel unclean just having the stuff touch you -- how can anyone eat it? Argh! Oof! Ugh! (sleaze damage)
It tries to give you a papercut, but you tell it to cut it out.
It tries to hit you with its box, but you think outside the box.
It opens its box, but you avert your eyes.
It tries to pelt you with noodles, but your pelt remains unpelted.
It puffs some of that gross orange powder at you, but you take a powder from the powder.
It blows that gross orange powder at your face, but you close your mouth and plug your nose.
It tries to rip off the top of its box, but the glue is too strong and the little perforated part won't perforate, and after a while it just gives up. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: handful of crafty noodles (% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: handful of crafty noodles (% chance)* |
Appears as a wandering monster, part of the mysticality class revamp.
Notes
- This monster cannot be wished for.
References
- An obvious sleazy variant of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (known as "Kraft Dinner" in Canada, for some reason).
- The "intimate" hit message suggests it may not be elbow macaroni.
