Brings All the Boys to the Blue Yard
You finally find the address on your Blue Milk Club card. It's a solid iron door set into an alcove in a back alley between two windowless buildings. You wouldn't even know it was there, were it not for the giant neon sign that says "Blue Milk Club," with an accompanying holographic video of two blue-skinned dancing women. You name-drop Self-Decapitating Nick to the bouncer, though, and he waives the cover charge.
As you walk in, your senses are assualted -- there's the smell of baby powder, booze, and sweat, the sound of thumping techno music, and the sight of blue-skinned women in bikinis serving drinks. "Hey there," a waitress says. "Are you here to watch the show on the main stage? Or would you prefer a more private experience?"
| Take a Seat |
You take a seat at a table facing the stage, order a drink, and sit back to watch the show. After a minute, a blue-skinned woman with a big tentacle curling out behind her head leaps nimbly from the wings, grabs a mic, and begins to sing an aria over the techno beat. While she sings, she starts to dance. You feel your mind expand as you watch her intricate, almost chaotic dance moves, while her voice rises above the beat. She winks at you, and you smile back. Wow.
"Pretty impressive, eh?" the -- uh -- creature next to you says. "Her dance moves are all determined by popular vote. You can use your neural net to vote on which move you want to see next, and she tabulates the results and executes them in real time. In fact, you could say she's a --"
"I'm warning you, don't say it. If you value your life, do not say what you're about to say," you say, clenching your fists.
"You could say she's a poll dancer!"
The ensuing fight is quite a workout, up to and including your being ejected from the club.
| You gain 0.6-0.725*level^2 (max 200) Muscleboundness. |
| You gain 0.6-0.725*level^2 (max 200) Enchantedness. |
| You gain 0.6-0.725*level^2 (max 200) Cheek. |
| Head to the Back |
You head back to the VIP room, which isn't quite what you had expected. There's a stage at one end, but it's completely full of one obese alien who is smoking a hookah and watching a green-skinned woman dance.
"The next movement of my dance triptych is entitled "Father/Leaf Mother/Agony," the green-skinned woman says. She begins a heartfelt, emotional, interpretive dance.
Sadly, the fat alien is something of a philistine. He keeps offering her money to take her costume off! As if that were appropriate dance recital behavior! She tries to continue pouring her emotion out on the stage, but the fatty just won't stop lolling his tongue at her.
Finally, she ends the performance early, jumping through a trapdoor in the floor. You feel a pang of regret that you didn't see the whole performance, but you'll be thinking of that beautiful artistic expression for a while.
 | You acquire an effect: Dance Interpreter (duration: 20 Adventures) |
Occurs at Seaside Megalopolis with Blue Milk Club Card in inventory, which is consumed.
References
- The title of this adventure refers to Kelis's song Milkshake.
- The first choice is a reference to a scene from The Fifth Element.
- The second choice is based off of the first scene in Jaaba the Hutt's Palace from Return of the Jedi.
