Carbuncle Top
| Carbuncle Top | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 985 |
| Locations | The Laugh Floor |
| Hit Points | 70 |
| Attack | 70 |
| Defense | 63 |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | demon |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, carbuncle |
| Drops | None |
| Quest | hilarious comedy prop |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Carbuncle TopYou finally make your way to the stage, and see the comedian currently performing could only be popular in Hey Deze.
Oh, it isn't that instead of a head, he has a massive, pus-weeping infected boil -- ask the orcish frat boys if being a massive, pus-weeping infected boil has an effect on your social life. It's that all of his comedy relies on puns based on props. Y'know, like he'll say, "put up your dukes!" and hold up two pictures of Azazel, Archduke of Hey Deze. Or he'll say, "I'm all ears!" and throw a sheet over his head that's covered in the severed ears of damned souls.
You'd have to be tortured every day to find Carbuncle Top's comedy entertaining. It's like how if you hit yourself in the head with a hammer every day, a blow with a baseball bat will seem downright pleasant.
Hit Message(s):
He says, "let me beat you to the punch, here," and beats you with a bunch of punches. No one laughs. Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Eek!
He says, "let me pick your brain for a minute," and lodges an ice pick in your skull. No one laughs. Ooh! Ugh! Ooh!
He says, "you just hit the nail on the head!" then hits you on the head with a nail. No one laughs. Ooh! Ooh! Oof! Ow!
He says, "good job! You're totally on fire!" Then he hoses you down with a flamethrower. No one laughs. Ouch! Ugh! Oof! (hot damage)
He decides that instead of favoring you with another joke, he'll just squirt you with a stream of pus from his carbuncle-head. You're not sure which is worse, honestly. Ooh! Ow! Oof! (sleaze damage)
He says, "don't leave me hangin', bro!" and tightens a noose around his neck. No one laughs.
He says, "my life is an open book!" and holds up a book. No one laughs.
He says, "I like to think the glass is half full!" and holds up a pint glass that's been lopped in half vertically. No one laughs.
He says, "you're the bee's knees!" and holds up a giant pair of foam bee's legs. No one laughs.
He runs out of props, and has to go find someone who will give him some mad props. It takes a goodly long time. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: hilarious comedy prop |
| You gain ~18 <substat>. |
Occurs at The Laugh Floor
Notes
- This monster cannot be copied.
References
- A reference to oft-despised prop comedian Carrot Top.
