Clubfish
| Clubfish | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 725 |
| Locations | The Brinier Deepers |
| Hit Points | 600 |
| Attack | 350 |
| Defense | 360 |
| No-Hit | 360 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | 176-264 |
| Phylum | fish |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | fin, head, tail |
| Drops | dull fish scale, fish stick |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a clubfishThis fish was left behind when the other marine life in the area upgraded to swords and firearms. Instead of a deadly blade or an improbable cannon growing out of its nose, it just has a big, thick club sticking out of its head.
Still, when it comes to beating the stuffing out of you, it'll probably do the trick.
Hit Message(s):
It clubs you in the shin. You collapse and wail, "why me?" Ooh! Oof! Argh! Argh!
It forgoes clubbing you this round, but smacks you with its tailfin. Oof! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch!
It clubs you in the spine. Hey, that was your favorite spine! Argh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
It clubs you in the heart. I guess it's part barracuda. Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Ouch!
It winds up, swims at you, and clubs you like a sandwich. Sure, the clubfish may not be as flashy as the scimitarfish, but never underestimate the efficacy of a good blunt instrument. Ow! Ooh! Oof! Ow! Ow! Ugh! Eek! Ow!
It tries to club you like a seal, but you're not like a seal.
It tries to club you in the shin, but you distract it with some new slang.
It tries to club you in the spine, but your spine surfs alone.
It tries to club you in the heart, but it isn't a barracuda.
It tries to smack you with its tailfin, but you easily dodge. It should really look where it's attacking.
It takes aim, swims at you, and swings its mighty club! Fortunately for you, it misses and connects with a nearby sunken anchor. The clubfish reverberates backward, comically befuddled. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 176−264 Meat (average: 220, stdev: 17.96)* |
 | You acquire an item: fish stick (2.2% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: dull fish scale (14.3% chance)* |
Occurs at The Brinier Deepers.
References
- The attack and miss messages about clubbing in your heart refers to the song Barracuda by the band Heart.
- The attack and miss messages involving spines refer to The Spine Surfs Alone, an EP from They Might Be Giants.
- The attack message referring to getting clubbed in the shin is a reference to Tonya Harding's hit on Nancy Kerrigan.
- The critical hit message about being clubbed "like a sandwich" probably alludes to club sandwiches.
- The miss message referring to getting clubbed in the shin is a reference to the song New Slang by the band The Shins.
