Crazy bastard
| Crazy bastard | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 229 |
| Locations | The Sleazy Back Alley, The Sleazy Back Alley (Retired) (ultra-rarely) |
| Hit Points | 25 |
| Attack | 20 |
| Defense | 18 |
| No-Hit | 30? |
| Initiative | always |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | unknown |
| Drops | crazy bastard sword |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a crazy bastardAll of a sudden, a crazy bastard lurches out of the alley, and starts lumbering toward you with malice in his eyes. And in his eyebrows. Mostly in his eyebrows, actually.
You don't know this guy, but it appears that he wants to hit you. That's right -- some crazy bastard wants to hit you.
Hit Message(s):
He waves you over, then hits you. Why did you go over there? Ugh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
He smacks you in the face with his big ol' sword. It big ol' hurts. Ouch! Oof! Eek! Oof!
He hits you with the combined force of being crazy and never having known his father. It's all different kinds of painful. Oof! Ow! Eek! Eek!
He waves you over, but you don't know that guy and you're not going over there.
He tries to smack you with his big ol' sword, but it's so big he can't swing it very fast.
He tries to hit you, but then gets distracted trying to figure out who his father is. It's kind of sad, really. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: crazy bastard sword |
| You gain 4 <substat>. |
If you lose the fight:
 | You acquire an item: consolation ribbon (100% chance)* |
Occurs at The Sleazy Back Alley, ultra-rarely. Occurred at The Sleazy Back Alley (Retired), ultra-rarely.
Notes
- On April Fool's Day, 2006, this adventure appeared regularly for all users but dropped nothing.
- This monster cannot be copied.
References
- This adventure is a reference to the song Bastard Wants To Hit Me by They Might Be Giants: "Some crazy bastard wants to hit me/He's waving me over so he can hit me/But I don't know that guy, and I'm not going over there"
