Decent lumberjack

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decent lumberjack You're fighting a decent lumberjack

This lumberjack is only okay. I mean, you get a full day's work out of him, and everything, but he has some strange habits.

Hit Message(s):

He kicks you in the knee with his high heels. What kind of lumberjack wears high heels? Ugh! Argh! Ow!

He skips and jumps around you, then presses you like a wildflower. Ow! Argh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He garottes you with one of his suspenders and repeatedly bangs your head into a tree. Blood and maple syrup flow like wine. Ugh! Eek! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to kick you with his high heels, but starts blubbering when you make fun of them.

He tries to press you like a wildflower, but you're unimpressed.

Fumble Message:

He runs at you, but one of his suspenders gets caught on a jutting branch and he slingshots backward comically. You can laugh. It's funny. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You gain 16-24 Meat (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
You acquire an item: disbelief suspenders (10.3% chance)*
You acquire an item: jack flapper (10.4% chance)*
You acquire an item: poutine (29.6% chance)*
You gain 7 <substat>.

Occurs at Camp Logging Camp.

Notes

You acquire an effect: Axe Wound
(duration: 10 Adventures)

References

  • The adventure text and several of the attack messages refer to "The Lumberjack Song", by Monty Python: "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK / I sleep all night and I work all day", "I cut down trees, I skip and jump / I love to press wild flow'rs", "I cut down trees, I wear high heels / Suspenders and a bra."