Deep Inside Grimace, Bow Chick-a Bow Bow (Laboratory)
Initial visit:
You step from the clean, bright hallway into a musty, crowded laboratory. I’m sure you’d like to step right back, but the door locks behind you, because doors always gotta be like that. You know what I’m sayin’.
There’s a loud “GRAAAAAAGH!” from across the lab, and something back there hurls a desk at your head. You duck and roll, and when you look up there’s a giant green muscle-bound elf inches from your face. He looks pretty angry, and you would be, too, if you were wearing purple shorts that tight.
”Make me happy!” he says, struggling to form words with his giant, mis-shapen mouth. “You’ll like me . . . when . . . happy!”
”Uh, okay. So, why does Dracula sleep in a big, black oak coffin? Because he’d look stupid in a little pink plastic one!”
The elven monstrosity glares at you, but then he starts chuckling, and rapidly shrinks back to normal size, his skin losing its greenish cast and turning grey, then white. “Thanks,” he says, shrugging into a lab coat. “I hate it when that happens. I couldn’t get the Heads-Up-Display to work properly in this helmet for the Elf Maneuvering Unit, or E.M.U., and I just got so frustrated.”
The elf rushes back to his workstation and makes a few adjustments on a helmet. “Turns out, I just needed to reverse the polarity! Don’t I feel stupid! Anyway, listen, I’ve got to finish calculating the rate of inertial dampening for the final unit, or the rest of the team’s work will be for nothing. Could you take this to the assembly team for me?”
”Sure,” you say, taking the helmet. "Where are they?”
”I’m sure you’ll find them. We’re all telecommuting, you know, so we don’t really know where the rest of the team is. But you can take the transporter out to the surface and look there.” He waves at a glowing orange circle on the wall.
”Is it dangerous?” you ask.
”Not as dangerous as staying in here if you tick me off,” the elf says.
| Step Through the Transporter |
You hold your breath and step through the circle. You feel a stabbing pain in your pants, as well as the weird sensation of having nerve endings in your clothing. Then you’re standing on the lunar surface again, holding the helmet.
Fun Fact: your tongue is now .2 millimeters thicker than it was before. Science!
 | You acquire an item: E.M.U. helmet |
Subsequent visits:
You walk into the green hulking scientist's lab, only to find it's both trashed and deserted. There's nothing to see but a hastily scrawled note that reads, "We did it! But the repaired shield has greatly diminished field covERAGE! GRAAAARRRGH SMASH!"
You should get out of here before that thing comes back.
| Go Back the Way You Came |
References
- This is a reference to everyone's favorite green, muscle-bound, purple-short-wearing hero, Hulk.
