Deep Inside Ronald, Baby (Headcrab)
You step through the door, and hear it whoosh down and lock behind you. Dammit.
The room you’re in is lit by a vast bank of television screens across one wall. The only piece of furniture in the room is a chair in front of the screens, and on that chair is an elf. He looks up as you enter, and you notice two minor things: the first is that his eyes are glassy and vacant, and the second is that he has a giant crab on his head, gripping with spiny insectile legs, with some kind of appendage jammed into his spinal column.
”Sit down and watch awhile,” the elf says, dreamily. “From here, I can watch every elf on the colony. They fight, they make out in hot tubs . . . it’s great, Dave. You should try it. Look, there’s a couple of orange-skinned guys in a hot tub talking about how buff their abs are. Awesome, right? If you just get a crab on your head, man, you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
The mind-bent elf slides back into his chair, drooling, as you edge around him to get out of the room before you get an unpleasant new hat.
| Take the Red Door |
| Take the Blue Door |
You walk through the blue door and find yourself (there you are!) in a tiny room with a little chair in it. The door clicks shut behind you.
”Please sit down and try to remain calm,” a voice says. It’s a female voice, with a tinny edge to it. Lacking other options, you sit down in the chair. Clamps shoot out over your wrists and ankles with a very final-sounding *snap.*
”Um. I’m having trouble remaining calm, here,” you say.
”Most test subjects report the same experience. Please attempt to lower your heart rate. Inserting neural interface needle.”
”Hey, don’t -- OW!”
”Initiating temporary neurological upgrade 6.9: Thaumotalogical Mastery.”
Your brain buzzes as magical lore is downloaded directly into your neural cortex.
”Upload complete. Initiating transport to lunar surface.”
Man, those disembodied, tinny voices are never big on the articles, are they? Suddenly you’re standing on the surface of Ronald again, with nothing but a head full of arcane knowledge to show for your adventure.
 | You acquire an effect: Spell Transfer Complete (duration: 10 Adventures) |
