Drunken 7-foot dwarf

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drunken 7-foot dwarf You're fighting a drunken 7-foot dwarf

This is a dwarf miner from the distant foothills of Mt. McLargeHuge, a mountain of such extraordinary largeness that even the dwarves within it are seven feet tall. He's delved too greedily and too deep, and seen things no dwarf was meant to see, and now he's drowning those memories in a sea of booze.

For the record: he doesn't look happy, bashful, or sneezy; he looks a little bit dopey and sleepy; he's definitely grumpy; and if you're not careful, after this fight you'll need a doc.

Hit Message(s):

He hits you with his pick. You wish he'd stop picking on you. Ouch!

He mines some wood ore from the tavern floor and flings it at you. Eek!

He mines some steel ore out of a nearby keg and throws it at you. Ooh!

He downs a beer in one gulp, as is the custom of his people, then breaks the mug over your head, as is the custom of all drunken douchebags. Ooh! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He swings his pick and lodges it square in your <giblets>. Having found a profitable vein of 'adventurer's guts' ore, he proceeds to mine it thoroughly. Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He lunges drunkenly at you with his pick, but misses and ends up mining a vein of beer out of a nearby keg.

He stops to provide some anachronistic, ill-advised comic relief.

He tries to mine ore from a nearby keg, but only succeeds in dousing himself with beer.

He downs a beer in one gulp, then has to excuse himself to the little dwarf's room.

Fumble Message:

He's too busy crafting stuff with what he's mined to fight with you this round. Thank goodness mine crafting is such a time suck! (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You gain 16-24 Meat (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
You acquire an item: bottle of whiskey (20% chance)*
You acquire an item: bottle of whiskey (20% chance)*
You gain 2 <substat>.

Occurs in a A Barroom Brawl

Notes

  • This adventure is actually the first time the unusually tall stature of the dwarfs of Mt. McLargeHuge is explained. Since new players will have access to the Typical Tavern before the mountain, this is actually the first dwarf they will meet.

References