Elf Guard desserter

Elf Guard desserter
Monster ID	2424
Locations	A Cafe Divided, while in the Crimbuccaneer rigging
Hit Points	0
Attack	0
Defense	0
Initiative	0
Meat	None
Phylum	elf
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, ear, head, leg, torso
Drops	1-2 Elf Guard MPCs, ancient Elf dessert spoon, sundae ration
Manuel Entry
	refreshedit data

You're fighting an Elf Guard desserter

All elves like sweet treats, but this one has made it into an entire identity.

Hit Message(s):

She gags you with a dessert spoon. Ugh! Argh! Oof! Argh!

She chucks a scoop of ice cream at your <nipple>. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

She pours hot fudge on your <nipple>. Ow! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

She chucks a scoop of ice cream at your <nipple>. (CRITICAL HIT!) Argh! Ow! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

She tries to gag you with a spoon, but you're all "as if..."

She pulls out a scoop of ice cream to throw at you, but decides to eat it instead.

She pours some of that magic shell chocolate stuff on your throat. You wait for it to harden, then you peel it off. It's pretty satisfying, actually.

Fumble Message:

She pulls out a scoop of ice cream to throw at you, but decides to eat it instead. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

You acquire 1−2 Elf Guard MPCs

You acquire an item: sundae ration (5% chance)*

You acquire an item: ancient Elf dessert spoon (0.5% chance)*

Notes

The sundae ration and ancient Elf dessert spoon are conditional drops, unaffected by item drop modifiers and cannot be a forced drop.
Internally, both the sundae ration and ancient Elf dessert spoon have a 100% drop rate with a 95% and 99.5% rejection rate, respectively.
This monster cannot be wished for.