FINISH HIM!
“All right, team, we’ve got him on the ropes! Let’s finish him!” you shout.
”Um, Captain, I’ve gotta wee bit o’ bad news for ye,” the brogue-ish elf in the butt cheeks says. “I’ve got a readout on the schematics of the armor covering MechaElf’s power source. It’s got a Crunchtabulosity rating of THREE STARS!”
”Ye gods, elf!” you shout. “We don’t have ordnance that can crack that! Even peanut brittle’s only rated for two and a half stars, and that’s only if it’s overcooked!”
”Captain...” a serene elvish voice says, “this is Codpiece reporting. Captain, I left work in a hurry and have a dozen Taco Dan’s Taco Stand’s Tacos in my messenger bag. And Captain, Taco Dan’s Taco Stand’s Taco’s Crunchtabulous™ shell has a Crunchtabulosity rating of FOUR POINT FIVE STARS.”
”Well, Codpiece, looks like you’re about to save the day!” you shout into your microphone. “Fire Taco Dan’s Taco Stand’s Taco Dan’s Taco -- just fire the ordnance, son.”
| Fire At Will (MechaElf's pilot's name is Will) |
Taco Dan’s Taco Stand’s Tacos fire from the Codpiece, in a way that is, I must stress, neither suggestive nor amusing in any way. They streak through the air, leaving trails of poblano jalapeño ranch pico de gallo sauce behind them. They thud through MechaElf’s armor, pulverizing the breastplate to detonate the power source beneath it.
MechaElf explodes, then your view switches to another angle and it explodes again, then it explodes a third time in slow motion.
Don’t worry; you see animelfs parachuting away from the wreckage. They’ll be fine.
”We did it!” shout all of Super Crimboman’s elven pilots. “Let’s go back and tell Uncle Crimbo!”
You pilot Super Crimboman back to the garage, and climb down from the helmet to a full-on ticker-tape parade being thrown in your honor. And since these are Crimbo elves throwing the parade, all the ticker-tape is delicious licorice.
Occurs during Super Crimboman Crimbo Type is Go! after doing sufficient damage to MechaElf.
References
- The "brogue-ish elf" may be a reference to Scotty from Star Trek. The "serene elf" may be a reference to Spock, or he could just be a stock character in mecha anime.
