Fantasy ourk
| Fantasy ourk | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2061 |
| Locations | The Towering Mountains |
| Hit Points | 120 |
| Attack | 120 |
| Defense | 120 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | 100% |
| Monster Parts | arm,head,leg,torso |
| Drops | Rubee™ |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a fantasy ourkA big beefy guy with green paint on his face, fake tusks, and huge shoulder pads made from motorcycle helmets stomps up to you. "Beware the ourk horde!" he yells. "The what?" you ask.
"The ourk horde."
"What's an... oh, is that like an orc?"
"No! It's our own thing! Shut up!"
or
That big 'ourk' guy stomps up to you, and roars incoherently. "You missed a spot," you tell him.
"...What?"
"On your neck. There's like a big spot on your neck where you forgot the green paint."
"Aw, dammit. All right, thanks. I gotta beat you up fast and get back to the locker room, then."
or
You see that big ourk, adjusting his motorcycle helmet-cum-shoulderpads and the other various bits of sports equipment and padding that he's armored with. No wonder he seems so beefy. "Jeez, how long does it take you to put all that on?" you ask him.
"Like an hour, it sucks," he says. And it's hot as hell, t-- uh, COWER PUNY HUMAN!"
or
You run into that beefy ourk again. Before he can start roaring at you, you ask him "Hey -- how do those tusks work?"
"Huh?" he asks.
"Those big fake tusks. Do they, like, glue on? They look uncomfortable."
"Nah, they're -- I mean, they my own tusks! They real!"
"No, really. Are they attached to a mouthpiece thing? Like plastic vampire fangs?"
"I not allowed to break character! Die, human!"
or
"Oh hey," you say, waving at the big ourk guy.
"Heya," he says, waving back. "Wanna fight again?"
"Yeah, sure."
Hit Message(s):
He hits you with a massive club. Despite being mostly made of foam-rubber, it does indeed have a lot of mass. Argh! Ouch! Ow!
He shoulder-slams you in the head with one of his motorcycle helmet pauldrons. Which is a little ironic, when you think about it. Ooh! Ugh! Ow!
He punches you with his big meaty fist, which is actually a real fist and not a foam prop. Eek! Ouch! Ugh!
He pummels you senseless, then politely waits for you to wake up and take your turn. (CRITICAL HIT!) Oof! Oof! Ugh!
He tries to hit you with a giant club, but you refuse to be part of any club that would... I'm pretty sure we've done this joke before.
He tries to shoulder-slam you, but his giant shoulders obstruct his peripheral vision.
He winds up to punch you, but can't move very quickly in all that padding.
He has to stop fighting for a second to adjust his straps. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: Rubee™ (% chance)* |
Occurs at The Towering Mountains.
Notes
- Has 100% resistance to physical damage.
- This monster cannot be wished for.
