Flashy pirate

Flashy pirate
Monster ID	1764
Locations	Pirates of the Garbage Barges
Hit Points	150
Attack	200
Defense	200
Initiative	0
Meat	None
Phylum	construct
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, exposed circuitry, head, leg, torso
Drops	grogpagne, nasty snuff, beard incense, dirty rigging rope, perfume-soaked bandana, sewage-clogged pistol
Manuel	flashy pirate dreadlocks
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a flashy pirate

An animatronic pirate emerges from a darkened alcove next to the canal and leaps onto your barge.

"Today," he says, bowing with an exaggerated flourish, "is a day that you will always remember, for it is the day that you were robbed blind and left for dead by Silly Jack Golden, pirate king of The Second Isle." He begins winking his left eye rapidly and making a weird clicking sound.

"Prepare to," he continues, "prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to..."

Something tells you this thing is in need of some serious repairs.

Hit Message(s):

It flails at you with its long dreadlocks, which besides being full of beads and bits of bone and broken electronics, also appear to be made of real human hair. Argh! Eek! Argh! (stench damage)

It hits you with a rum bottle, while complaining about the rum always being gone. Maybe if it didn't keep breaking the bottles over peoples' heads... Eek! Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

It hits you with a cutlass, which is not a real cutlass, but it is made of real metal, and is connected to a real short-circuiting high-voltage capacitor. (CRITICAL HIT!)
Ouch! Ouch! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to flail at you with its long dreadlocks, but its head gets turned around backwards, and it stumbles around comically for a while.

It complains about some missing rum, while slurring and weaving and acting as if it's drunk all the rum already. Which might be kind of funny, except it's a robot, so none of this makes any sense.

Fumble Message:

"Yo-ho-h-h-h-ho!" it sputters, with sparks shooting out of its mouth. "Shiver me t-t-t-t-t-t-timberrrrrrrrrbzzzrt" (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: grogpagne (15% chance)*

You acquire an item: nasty snuff (15% chance)*

You acquire an item: beard incense (15% chance)*

You acquire an item: flashy pirate dreadlocks (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: dirty rigging rope (5% chance)*

You acquire an item: perfume-soaked bandana (5% chance)*

You acquire an item: sewage-clogged pistol (5% chance)*

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Occurs at Pirates of the Garbage Barges.