Funky pirate
| Funky pirate | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1762 |
| Locations | Pirates of the Garbage Barges |
| Hit Points | 100 |
| Attack | 150 |
| Defense | 150 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | pirate |
| Elements | stench |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arrrrm, arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | nasty snuff, sewage-clogged pistol |
| Manuel | funky eyepatch |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a funky pirateAs your barge drifts lazily down the garbage canal, you begin to doze. It's actually kind of relaxing -- or maybe you're just being overcome by the toxic fumes. Either way, it comes as a total surprise when a pirate clambers out of the water and into your barge, a knife clenched in his bared teeth.
"Gross!" you say. "Were you really just swimming in that stuff ? And with your mouth open like that? Why didn't you just put the knife in your pocket?"
"Arrr," he replies, "'cause that be where I keep my pistol."
Hit Message(s):
He suddenly coughs up about a pint of sewer water. Some of it gets on your <kidney>. Ow! Oof! Ow! (stench damage)
His pistol is either empty, or clogged, or b... okay, not both, because that would be a contradiction in terms. Anyway, he clubs you in the <kidney> with it. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
He shoots you with his pistol, which is either clogged with filth or designed to shoot filth. Either way: filth. (CRITICAL HIT!)
Ow! Ow! (stench damage)
He spends some time coughing, and blames it on his hay fever.
He takes a swig from a bottle of homemade whiskey, to wash out his mouth. It doesn't really work, because the whiskey is also made of sewer water.
He stops attacking for a second to pick some half-dissolved knife out of his teeth. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: nasty snuff (15% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: sewage-clogged pistol (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: funky eyepatch (10% chance)* |
Occurs at Pirates of the Garbage Barges.
