General Bruise
| General Bruise | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2292 |
| Locations | The Sorceress' Chamber |
| Hit Points | 200 |
| Attack | 150 |
| Defense | 150 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | horror |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | None |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting General BruiseAfter all this talk about a Naughty Sorceress, it's probably a little disappointing to discover that the tower's occupant is a burly, square-jawed military guy, dressed in some kind of military uniform, and chomping on what is probably a military-issue cigar. (Maybe that isn't disappointing, I don't know what you're into.)
"Who are you?" you ask.
"Who are you, sir!" he barks in response.
"I asked first, and you don't have to call me sir."
"Don't give me any of that smart-aleck protagonist banter, maggot! I'm General Bruise, and I'm taking over this whole operation! And once I've drained this weird island of its power and resources, I'll storm the beaches at Ocean City! No more second banana bullcrap, I'll be the one in charge!"
"Oh, you're the other guy from Ocean City that the customs agent mentioned way back at the very beginning of my adventure," you say. "I had probably forgotten all about that. What happened, did you get your ass kicked by some other protagonist and run away?"
Bruise's face turns beet-red. "I didn't run away! It was a tactical retrograde!"
Hit Message(s):
not known
General Buise pulls out an assault rifle and hoses you down with bullets, despite this theoretically being a fantasy-type game. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ow! Oof! Ugh!
Bruise tries to do a CQC move on you, but you counter with CYA.
General Bruise tries to jab you with the end of his cigar, but it's gone out. He grumbles about damp coastal weather and lights another one.
Bruise tries to punch you in the face, but you're a conscientious objector.
General Bruise pulls out a riding crop, but you're in no mood for horsing around.
Bruise challenges you to an arm-wrestling competition, but you're like, "No." (FUMBLE!)
Occurs at The Sorceress' Chamber in an Avatar of Shadows Over Loathing run, as a Pig Skinner.
References
- General Bruise is one of the three nemeses in Asymmetric's Shadows Over Loathing.
- The player calling Bruise out for running away from some other protagonist is a reference to the player in Shadows Over Loathing choosing to spare Bruise and suggest he leaves the country.
