Glurk

Glurk. An extremely large hobo has just picked you up by the neck, and begins petting your hair.

"An adventurer!" he says. "I will keep <him/her> for my very own, and I will love <him/her> and pet <him/her>..."

"Glurgh," you say.

"...and stroke <his/her> hair..."

"Urgle."

Another hobo walks up, frowning. "Lennie, put the adventurer down. You're gonna get in trouble again."

"Sorry, George." Lennie lowers you back to your feet.

"Sorry about that, <bud/lady>," says George. "Lennie ain't too bright, you know? God damn nuisance most of the time, but you get used to goin' around with a guy an' you can't get rid of him."

"Glurk," you nod, rubbing your neck.

"Come on, we'll go have a drink or somethin' to make it up to ya. We got a pretty good bankroll off those cartoon people for the likeness rights."

You spend a couple hours hanging out with George and Lennie, hearing their stories about life on the road. It wasn't what you expected to be doing with your time, but you know, best-laid plans and all that.

You gain X Strongness.

You gain X Enchantedness.

You gain X Roguishness.

Notes

• X is equal to your main stat, capped at 200.
• Occurs as part of the Entertainment subadventure in Hobopolis Town Square.

References

• George and Lennie's appearance and actions are a reference to Of Mice and Men, a novel by John Steinbeck. The text "best laid plans" is a reference to the Robbie Burns poem To A Mouse, from which Of Mice and Men took its title. The full line is "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
• The line about "those cartoon people" is a possible reference to several classic Warner Bros. cartoons that featured Lennie-like characters, such as Hugo, the Abominable Snowman, from the Looney Tunes cartoon, The Abominable Snow Rabbit, even including one that bore the same name. Also, a possible reference to Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toon Adventures, who is also a Lennie-like character.
• Screwy Squirrel met his demise at the hands of a dopey dog named Lenny.