Golden ring (monster)
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This content has been retired and is no longer available in game. |
| Golden ring | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 643 |
| Locations | A Sinister Dodecahedron |
| Hit Points | Scales with player stats |
| Attack | Scales with player stats |
| Defense | Scales with player stats |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | construct |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | ring |
| Drops | golden ring |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a golden ringThis is a ring made out of "gold," one of the useless metals that's plentiful in the Kingdom. Since gold is a pretty malleable metal, and the ring appears to be completely inert, it's not that much of a threat. The Crimborg must have recently assimilated a culture that was unclear on the concept of "unstoppable killing machine."
Hit Message(s):
You bend over to inspect the ring and stand up too fast. You get dizzy and run into a wall. Eek! Ooh! Eek!
You kick the gold ring across the room. It rebounds off a wall and hits you in the eye. Ow! Ouch! Eek!
You pick up the ring and toss it in the air. It lands in your mouth and gets lodged in your windpipe. What are the odds? Argh! Ugh! Eek!
You bend over to inspect the ring, and some kind of bright-blue, spiny rodent runs you over in its rush to get to the ring before you do. Ugh! Ow! Eek! Ow!
You pick up the ring and put it on. Everything goes all wavy and weird, and some kind of spectral king stabs you in the shoulder with his sword. Man, that's not going to heal for a while. Ouch! Argh! Oof! Oof!
You stare at the gold ring. It lies there, doing nothing in particular.
The ring attacks the crap out of you. Nah, just kidding.
The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly suprising[sic].
The ring lies inert on the floor. Maybe it'll kill you seven days from now, or something.
The ring vibrates slightly, like it's about to attack, but some kind of bright blue, spiny rodent grabs it and runs off with it before it can do anything. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: golden ring (100% chance)* |
Occurred at A Sinister Dodecahedron.
References
- The line in the description naming gold as a "worthless metal" alludes to the fact that the Kingdom of Loathing uses Meat as currency, rather than gold, which is the usual standard in fantasy games; presumably, this is because Meat is a scarce commodity in the Kingdom, while gold is, as mentioned, plentiful.
- The "seven days" miss message refers to The Ring.
- This is the fifth monster to appear following the pattern from "The Twelve Days of Christmas" song. Seven days from the appearance of this monster is December 25, 2007.
- The critical hit message refers to an incident when the One Ring is worn in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
- The "bright blue, spiny rodent" is of course Sonic the Hedgehog; rings feature heavily in those games. Presumably the ring returns afterward. (NOTE: While spiny and, in this exceptional case, bright blue, hedgehogs are not in fact rodents.)
- Despite the fact that the item drop is the ring itself, you can still pickpocket it or steal it with one of the effects of the V for Vivala mask. Eerie.
