Hippies Don't Surf
While scouting along the beach, you encounter a band of Frat Orcs. Strangely, they've traded their uniforms for swim trunks and surfboards. You approach their commander and ask what's going on.
"What's it look like, son?" he replies. "Surfing. My boys needed some R&R."
"In the middle of a war? Don't you think it's a little risky for R&R?"
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, it's safe to surf this beach," he growls. "I'm not afraid to surf this place! Look, the waves break both ways -- one guy can break right, one left simultaneous. What do you think of that?"
"..."
"You prefer a heavier or light board?" he asks.
You end up spending the next few hours surfing with the Orcs, interrupted only briefly when they need to bomb the hell out of some frog-lobster guys. It's pretty moxious.
| You gain 30 Smarm. |
Occurs at Sonofa Beach
Notes
- This adventure still occurs while dressed in War Hippy Fatigues contradicting the adventure name.
- This adventure continues to occur unchanged after the war is finished making the text inaccurate.
References
- This adventure is a play on a conversation in Francis Ford Coppola's 1979 movie Apocalypse Now, in which Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore encourages the soldiers under his command to surf on the Nung River, despite enemy fire. Captain Benjamin L. Willard objects, but the surfing continues. This scene is where the oft-quoted, seldom attributed phrase "Charlie don't surf" originated, which is directly referenced in the title of the "Hippies Don't Surf" adventure.
