Jocko Homo

From A KoL Wiki
Jocko Homo You're fighting Jocko Homo

You're walking all alone down the street in the alley when out of nowhere, a figure leaps in front of you and shouts "PEEK-A-BOO!"

You jump backwards in shock at the sight of a huge grinning monkey in a business suit, a red ziggurat-like hat perched on its head. As he jerks wildly back and forth, you recognize him as one of the Spirit of New Wave's strangest and most insidious creations: Jocko Homo.

He's got an urge, got a surge, and it's out of control. You got a gut feeling that it's a god-given fact that you can't go back. He owes you absolutely nothing -- time to fight punch your way to happiness.

Hit Message(s):

Lips were made for kissin', legs were made for kickin'. Kickin' your ass, to be specific. Eek! Ow! Argh! Eek!

He spins around and whips you with his tail. Whips you good. Ow! Argh! Ouch! Oof!

He can walk like an ape, talk like an ape, but he beats your face in like a man. Ugh! Ooh! Eek! Ugh!

He gets you going in circles until you drop dead. Well, nearly. Argh! Eek! Oof! Ugh!

A feelin' got you reelin'. And by 'feelin'' I mean 'punch in the face'. Eek! Ouch! Argh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

You are unexpectedly hit in the <knee> by falling space junk. Possibly a soviet sputnik. Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

Eyes were made for lookin', fists were made for missin'.

He tries to whip you with his tail, but you give the past the slip.

He recites a poem from ancient Rome, but it's not very interesting.

Having evolved up from little snails, he's a little too slow to hit you.

He searches for you, but it turns out there is somewhere for you to hide after all.

Fumble Message:

He starts to bite you, but something about the way you taste makes him wanna clear his throat. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You acquire an item: secret tropical island volcano lair map (100% chance)*
You acquire an item: Jocko Homo's head (100% chance)*
You acquire an item: unusual disco ball (100% chance)*

Notes

References

  • "Jocko Homo" is the name of a Devo song (the B side of their first single, "Mongoloid"), drawn from the 1924 anti-evolution/anti-science tract Jocko-Homo Heavenbound by B.H. Shadduck, which defines "Jocko-Homo" to mean "ape-man"
  • The hat is a Devo "Energy Dome" hat
  • "Eyes were made for lookin', fists were made for missin'" is a reference to the Devo song "Snowball" ("Eyes were made for looking', Hands were made for holdin', Hearts were made for lovin', Lips were made for kissin', ...")
  • "He tries to whip you with his tail, but you give the past the slip" is a reference to the Devo song "Whip It" ("give the past a slip")
  • "He starts to bite you, but something about the way you taste makes him wanna clear his throat" is a reference to the Devo song "Gut Feeling" ("Something about the way you taste makes me want to clear my throat")
  • "He recites a poem from ancient Rome" is a reference to the Devo song "Freedom of Choice" ("In ancient Rome there was a poem about a dog who found two bones")
  • "going in circles until you drop dead" is a reference to the Devo song "Freedom of Choice" ("he went in circles 'til he dropped dead")
  • "PEEK-A-BOO" comes from the DEVO song of the same name.
  • "As he jerks wildly back and forth" is a reference to the Devo song "Jerkin' Back 'N' Forth"
  • "He's got an urge, got a surge, and it's out of control" is a reference to the Devo song "Uncontrollable Urge" ("Got an urge, got a surge and it's outta control")
  • "It's a god-given fact that you can't go back" is a line from the Devo song "Shrivel Up"
  • References to space junk & soviet sputnik refer to the Devo song "Space Junk"
  • "Evolved up from little snails" is a reference to the Devo song "Jocko Homo" ("They tell us that we lost our tails, evolving up from little snails")
  • "He searches for you, but it turns out there is somewhere for you to hide after all" is a reference to the Devo song "Don't You Know" ("nowhere for you to hide")