Lolliphaunt

Lolliphaunt
Monster ID	1114
Locations	The Lollipop Forest
Hit Points	50
Attack	40
Defense	36
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	beast
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, leg, tail, torso, trunk
Drops	lollipop stick, kumquartz
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a lolliphaunt

This majestic beast has a hard candy body, a licorice trunk, shards of sugar glass for tusks, and four little lollipop sticks for legs. Its body is so big that it's estimated it would take a hundred kindergartners a month to eat the whole thing.

In other news, there's apparently a branch of mathematics devoted to estimating exactly how long it would take how many kindergartners to eat something. So if you haven't declared your major yet, keep that in mind.

Hit Message(s):

It stomps on you with one of its lollipop sticks. You're not a grape, but you let out a little whine anyway.

It whips you with its licorice trunk. At least it didn't stuff you in the trunk of a licorice whip.

It spears you on a razor-sharp tusk. At least the sugar will cauterize the wound. That's how sugar works, right?

It squashes you with its huge candy body. You haven't been crushed by this much candy since that time you went trick-or-treating dressed as a guy with a gun who's not taking no for an answer.

Critical Hit Message:

It freaks out and goes rogue, stabbing you with its tusks, stomping with its feet, and whipping you with its trunk. It must have mistaken you for a mouse.

Miss Message(s):

It drinks from a nearby stream and sprays corn syrup all over itself with its trunk.

It blasts a trumpeting roar from its licorice trunk.

It stomps with its lollipop sticks, but fails to stomp on you, so you fail to let out a little whine.

It forgets to attack you. What a failephant.

Fumble Message:

A mouse offers it a magic feather, and it stomps off to try to learn to fly. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: lollipop stick (25% chance)*

You acquire an item: kumquartz (1% chance)*

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Occurs at The Lollipop Forest.

Notes

The kumquartz will only drop if the advent calendar section for December 5 has been punched.

References

• The fumble message is a reference to the Disney movie, Dumbo.
• The monster name is a portmanteau of "lollipop" and "oliphaunt", which in Tolkien's Middle Earth is the hobbits' name for the elephant-like Mûmakil.
• "What a failephant" is probably a reference to lolspeak and internet jargon in general.