Medieval strawman debator
| Medieval strawman debator | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1504 |
| Locations | Ye Olde Medievale Villagee |
| Hit Points | 75% of Monster Defense |
| Attack | Player's Buffed Moxie, min 25, max 200 |
| Defense | Player's Buffed Muscle, min 25, max 200 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | 20-30 |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Drops | None |
| Quest | straw, straw, straw, straw |
| Manuel | straw pole |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Medieval strawman debatorMost Medieval villages have a guy whose line of work, for some reason, is to go around insulting people. This village is unique in that instead of an insult guy, they have someone go around making specious arguments with people. He wears the proud badge of his profession: straw stuffed into his pants and shirt, to keep him itchy and irritable. Don't forget to tip him some meat after he makes you furious!
Hit Message(s):
He says, "I'll bet you think the police should be able to do random body cavity searches any time!" and kicks you in the butt. Oof! Ouch!
He says, "if you're pro-gun, you must want private citizens to own cannons and form their own police force! That's madness!" A blood vessel bursts in your brain. Ow! Ow!
He says, "you anti-death-penalty types want to release all criminals into the streets! That's insane!" and flings a rock at you. Eek! Oof!
He says, "you familiar-rights people want everyone to set their familiars free, so they die defenseless in the cold!" A blood vessels pops in your brain. Ugh! Ouch!
He says, "you're one of those namby-pamby liberals who wants to have convicted felons teaching our children sex education, aren't you?" Your rage throttles you before you can respond. Ooh! Oof!
He says, "you vegans would stop eating plants if you found out they felt pain, and then we'd all starve to death! Geez!" Then he kicks you in the shin. Eek! Oof!
He switches sides in the middle of his argument, forcing you to switch sides, then switches back so fast you can barely keep up. Arguing with this guy is so infuriating that you try to knock him out, but end up punching yourself in the groin instead. Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Ooh!
He flings a rock at you, but sticks and stones hurt less than his ill-informed opinions.
He says, "if we're going to legalize the hippy's herbs, why don't we just legalize goofballs as well?" You shrug and say, "why not?" and he doesn't know how to respond.
He says, "you monster-rights people probably would be happy if a seal came along and ate me alive!" You're inclined to agree.
He says, "you vegans want us all to subsist on nuts and berries!" You find it hard to disagree with him.
He tries to argue about gun control with you, but you're more interested in crossbow control.
He tries to argue with you about subsidies for farmers, but you don't care enough about it to be enraged.
He stops to research his argument positions with a collection of books heavily biased toward the arguments he wants to make. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 20-30 Meat. (average: 25, stdev: 2.42)* |
 | You acquire an item: straw (100% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: straw (20% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: straw (5% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: straw (1% chance)* |
Occurs in Ye Olde Medievale Villagee.
