Mer-kin burglar

Mer-kin burglar
Monster ID	772
Locations	The Mer-Kin Outpost
Hit Points	650
Attack	650
Defense	720
No-Hit	660
Initiative	150
Meat	200-300
Phylum	mer-kin
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, tail, torso
Drops	Mer-kin foodbucket, Mer-kin hidepaint, Mer-kin takebag, Mer-kin sneakmask, Mer-kin lockkey
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Mer-kin burglar

This is a guy who goes around stealing Mer-kin. Wait, no. This is a Mer-kin who steals other people's stuff. He's like a cat burglar, only instead of sneaking around like a cat, he sneaks around like a Mer-kin.

Basically, he's wily, elusive, and a total pain in the neck.

Hit Message(s):

He sneaks up behind you and whacks you with his tailfin. What a jerkass! Ooh! Eek! Argh! Oof! Eek! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Argh! Eek!

He steals your will to live. You slump to the ground and hit your head on a rock. Ooh! Eek! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! Eek! Eek! Ugh!

He steals your right humerus. It isn't particularly funny. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Eek! Eek! Ouch! Oof! Ow!

He steals your left kneecap. Ow, ow, ow! Eek! Ow! Argh! Ow! Ooh! Oof! Argh! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He sneaks away and steals a pair of brass knuckles from a Mer-kin raider, then sneaks behind you and whallops you on the back of the head with them.

Miss Message(s):

He tries to steal the bones in your arm, but the attempt is humerus.

He tries to steal your will to live, but your will is strong.

He tries to sneak behind you, but is an ineffective sneaker. So, y'know, you couldn't wear him to play basketball.

He tries to steal your knees, but you kneel on them to keep him from doing so.

Fumble Message:

He steals away for a minute to plan further nefarious activities. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

A Mer-kin healer swims by and lays his hands on your opponent. Putrescent green light spills from the healer's hands, and your opponent looks stronger.

A Mer-kin healer swims by and chants an incantation in a maddening, screeching, guttural, unearthly language. Putrid green light spills from his fingertips and envelops your opponent.

A nearby Mer-kin healer chants something in a dire, hideously malformed language. It sounds like two cats fighting in a bowlful of apostrophes and consonants. A grotesque green ball of light emerges from his chest and envelops your opponent for a moment.

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After Combat

You gain 200-300 Meat (average: 250, stdev: 20.82)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin hidepaint (9.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin takebag (2.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin foodbucket (5.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin sneakmask (2.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin lockkey (?% chance)*

You gain 161.75 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Mer-Kin Outpost.