Mer-kin tippler
| Mer-kin tippler | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 768 |
| Locations | The Dive Bar |
| Hit Points | 750 |
| Attack | 600 |
| Defense | 360 |
| No-Hit | 610 |
| Initiative | 25 |
| Meat | 160-240 |
| Phylum | mer-kin |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, tail, torso |
| Drops | Alewife™ Ale, Mer-kin foodbucket, Mer-kin pinkslip, Mer-kin weaksauce, slug of vodka |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Mer-kin tipplerThis Mer-kin has dedicated himself to the bleary, hazy life of a tippler. Tippling is the art of maintaining a steady state of drunkenness, avoiding both sobriety and blacking out. It's far more difficult than kipling, which is the art of writing stories about how the elephant got his trunk, or how the moth got its antennae, or how the policeman got his mustache.
The difference between a tippler and a drunk is that a tippler is being described by someone with a love for outdated slang; personally, I think people like that are the cat's pajamas.
Hit Message(s):
He knocks back a slug of whiskey, then slugs you in the arm with a sea slug. Ouch! Argh! Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Eek!
He drunkenly tosses a dart at the dartboard. Turns out, when the dart-thrower is drunk, you do a pretty good dartboard impersonation. Eek! Ugh! Ouch! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ouch!
He downs a bottle of beer and breaks it over your <leg>. Hopefully there aren't 98 more bottles where that came from. Oof! Ow! Ow! Argh! Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Ow!
He tries to play a drunken game of pool, but ends up shoving the end of the cue up your nose. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Ouch!
He starts crying and gives you a big hug, then pushes you away and smacks you with his tail. Oof! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Eek!
He says, "you. Hey. You. Where do you get off having legsh? You're going to fall on your ugly fasche!" You tell him you'll be careful, and he shouts, "You'll be dead!" and stabs you with a hookspear. Oof! Oof! Ow! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Ooh!
He knocks back a slug of whiskey, but pauses to spit the slug back out, keeping only the whiskey.
He drunkenly tosses a dart at you, but misses. Thank goodness he wasn't tossing his cookies at you.
He starts to break a beer bottle on you, but notices it isn't empty yet.
He tries to play a drunken game of pool, but doesn't have the balls.
He puts his arm around you and says he's always liked you, no matter what anyone says.
He staggers (swimmers? Swaggers?) over to the jukebox, rests his head on it for a while, then shouts, "Hey, thish toilet doeshn't flush!" (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.73)* |
 | You acquire an item: slug of vodka (20% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Alewife™ Ale (40% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin pinkslip (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin foodbucket (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin weaksauce (50% chance)* |
Occurs at The Dive Bar
References
- The art of "Kipling" is a reference to Rudyard Kipling's "Just So Stories".
- The critical hit message is a reference to a scene from Star Wars: A New Hope, where Luke encounters a drunken criminal at the Mos Eisley Cantina.
