No sir, away! A papaya war is on!
You wander smack dab into the middle of a papaya war. Don't you hate it when that happens?
Nearby, you see a group of ragged soldiers cowering beneath a bunker, as a giant army of mean-looking guys march toward them, papayas poised and ready to throw. What's it gonna be, then?
| Dive into the bunker |
You dive into the bunker, and the soldiers, spooked by your sudden appearance, dive out and scatter.
You look around to see if they left anything of value, but all you find is a handful of papayas. Oh well.
 | You acquire 3 papayas |
| Leap into the fray! |
You leap toward the advancing army, and with three extraordinarily well-thrown papayas, you manage to do enough damage to repel the entire force.
The cheers of the ragged soldiers in the bunker fill you with pride and smugness.
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 300 Strongness. |
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 300 Wizardliness. |
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 300 Smarm. |
(works only with at least 3 papayas in your inventory, of which you lose 3)
or
You leap up, ready to pelt the oncoming army with papayas, but realize that you don't have nearly enough papayas to do so at all effectively.
You get pelted in the face with papayas until you get tired of being pelted in the face with papayas, and then you wander off.
 | You lose 60−68 hit points. |
| Give The Men A Pep Talk |
You stand up in front of the soldiers, clear your throat, and deliver a speech:
"In a regal age ran I!
Raw was I 'ere I saw war!
Oh who was it I saw, oh who?
Too far away, a war afoot.
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
No, in union,
Name no one man.
Now do I repay a period won.
Draw, O Caesar! Erase a coward.
Evil is a name of a foeman, as I live.
Live not on evil deed, live not on evil.
Draw noses onward!
Dump mud! Dump mud!
Draw putrid dirt upward.
Puff in, sniff up!
Pull up if I pull up.
No, it is open on one position.
Stop! Murder us not, tonsured rumpots!
In words, alas, drown I.
A day, a day... yada yada..."
At the crescendo of the speech, the soldiers grab their papayas, leap out of the bunker, and charge screaming toward the advancing army. You consider sticking around to see how it turns out, but you're pretty busy, so you wander off. Good speech, though!
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 100 Strongness. |
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 100 Magicalness. |
| You gain roughly 1*Main Stat, capped at 100 Sarcasm. |
- With candy cane sword cane equipped:
| Crouch, poised with your hand on your candy cane sword cane hilt |
You wait, poised. The mean-loooking guys toss their papayas and you whip out your blade and create a fruit-kebab as you snatch several out of the air. You've still got a decision to make about what to do next.
| You acquire 5 papayas |
Occurs Inside the Palindome. Occurred at The Palindome (OLD) and The Palindome (Retired).
References
- Every line of the pep talk is a palindrome.
