Our Daily Candles™ Messages

After using the Our Daily Candles™ order form, you will receive a message daily. These are procedurally generated using the template below.

The message "New message received from Our Daily Candles." will be found in your recent events log.

Message

From Our Daily Candles

Warm greetings from Our Daily Candles. We hope you enjoy today's personalized selection of candles.

<Equipment>

Today's premium selection is <Premium>

<Regular>

<Regular>

<Special>

<Quote>
- <Attribution>

Templates

Equipment

• Please enjoy this irregular castoff from our Hanukkah division.

You acquire an item: Abracandalabra

• This one is useful for fending off both darkness and things that might attack you in it.

You acquire an item: extra-large utility candle

• Make a bold fashion statement with this collection of miscellaneous wax from our factory floor.

You acquire an item: extra-wide head candle

• This candle will surprise and delight and potentially burn your guests. Our Daily Candles is only liable for the first two.

You acquire an item: novelty sparkling candle

• This candle is perfect for livening up a seance or vampire LARP.

You acquire an item: runed taper candle

Premium

• Napalm In The Morning. The perfect companion for a day in which you eschew surfing for violence.

You acquire an item: Napalm In The Morning™ candle

• Salsa Caliente, redolent of tomato and onion. If you have the gene that makes cilantro smell like soap, it also smells like soap, which is totally fine.

You acquire an item: Salsa Caliente™ candle

• Scent of a Human. Made from the essential oil of our employees, it will fill the air with a musk that is earthy and relatable.

You acquire an item: Scent of a Human™ candle

• Smoldering Clover. Are you feeling lucky? You certainly will be once you light this!

You acquire an item: Smoldering Clover™ candle

• the Beast Within. It will bring out the animal in you and also the woods behind your house.

You acquire an item: The Beast Within™ candle

Regular

• Please enjoy this product of the owner's brother-in-law's failing banana plantation.

You acquire an item: banana candle

• Embrace wellness in a modern idiom, which is to say one that is based on fraud.

You acquire an item: ear candle

• We're proud to announce a new collaboration with the Incense of the Afternoon Club. Enjoy this sample!

You acquire an item: natural magick candle

• If you've got kids, they'll love this. Everyone else will be very annoyed by it.

You acquire an item: rainbow glitter candle

• We believe you have the potential in you to fully appreciate this candle.

You acquire an item: votive of confidence

Special

• We heard about the fires in your neck of the woods, so we've thrown in a bonus candle that might come in handy.

You acquire an item: water candle

Quote

• A beautiful candle is a joy forever.
• A candle in the hand is safer than two in a bush.
• A candle in time saves nine. Candles.
• A candle is only as strong as its wick.
• A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single candle.
• A new candle burns clean.
• An eye for an eye, a candle for a candle.
• Another day, another candle.
• Build a better candle and the world will beat a path to your door.
• Candles are the soul of wit.
• Candles don't grow on trees.
• Don't cast your candles before swine.
• Don't put your cart before your candle.
• Don't shoot the messenger -- give them a nice candle instead!
• Every candle has two ends.
• Forewarned is forearmed -- so bring a candle!
• Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety percent perspiration, and nine percent candles.
• Great candles burn alike.
• Hell hath no fury like a candle.
• History repeats itself -- especially the parts of history that are about candles.
• Home is where the candle is.
• It ain't over 'til the fat candle burns out.
• Like candle, like son.
• Live and let candle.
• Make love, not candle.
• Man does not live by candle alone.
• Never look a gift candle in the wick.
• Nothing is certain except candles and taxes.
• Procrastination is the thief of candles.
• Put your best candle forward.
• Seek and ye shall find (a candle.)
• Spare the candle, spoil the child.
• The best defense is a good candle.
• The bigger they are, the longer they burn. Candles, I mean.
• The cobbler always burns the worst candles.
• The wages of sin is a candle.
• The way to a man's heart is through a candle.
• There's no candle like an old fool.
• Two wrongs don't make a candle.
• When the going gets tough, the tough light candles.

Attribution

All attributions are female historical figures and celebrities.

• Amelia Earhart
• Amy Winehouse
• Anne Frank
• Ayn Rand
• Billie Holiday
• Carole King
• Chaka Khan
• Cher
• Diana Ross
• Dolly Parton
• Donna Summer
• Eleanor of Aquitaine
• Emily Dickinson
• Empress Suiko
• Empress Wu Zetian
• Etta James
• Flannery O'Connor
• Frida Kahlo
• Gloria Steinem
• Grace Hopper
• Jane Austen
• Joan Rivers
• Judy Garland
• Margarte Atwood
• Marie Curie
• Marina Abramovic
• Mary Cassatt
• Maya Angelou
• Merneith
• Olga of Kiev
• Patti Smith
• Pearl S. Buck
• Phyllis Diller
• Queen Victoria
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• Sally Ride
• Sojourner Truth
• Theodora
• Tina Turner
• Ursula K. Le Guin
• Vivien Leigh

References

• The candle-based quotes are based on popular sayings and quotes:
  • A thing of beauty is a joy for ever is a phrase from the poem Endymion by John Keats.
  • A stitch in time saves nine.
  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
  • A chain is only as strong as its weakest link is an idiom attributed to Thomas Reid.
  • a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
  • A new broom sweeps clean.
  • An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
  • Another day, another dollar.
  • Build a better mousetrap.
  • Brevity is the soul of wit was first said by Polonius in William Shakespeare's Hamlet.
  • Money doesn't grow on trees.
  • Don't cast pearls before swine.
  • Don't put the cart before the horse.
  • Shooting the messenger is a metaphoric phrase about (often incorrectly) blaming someone who brings bad news.
  • Every stick has two ends.
  • Forewarned is forearmed.
  • Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration is a saying by Thomas Edison.
  • Great minds think alike.
  • Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned has originated from the British play The Mourning Bride by William Congreve.
  • History repeats itself is a popular observation about historical recurrence.
  • Home is where the heart is.
  • It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
  • Live and let live.
  • Like father, like son.
  • Make love, not war.
  • Man does not live by bread alone is a phrase from Matthew 4:4 of the bible.
  • Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
  • Nothing is certain, except death and taxes. is a corruption of a quote by Benjamin Franklin.
  • Procrastination is the thief of time.
  • Put your best foot forward.
  • Seek and ye shall find is a biblical phrase from Matthew 7:7 of the bible.
  • Spare the rod and spoil the child is an English proverb, often believed to be from Proverbs 13:24 of the bible.
  • The best defense is a good offense.
  • The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
  • The cobbler always wears the worst shoes.
  • The Wages of Sin is a biblical phrase from Romans 6:23.
  • The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
  • There's no fool like an old fool.
  • Two wrongs don't make a right.
  • When the going gets tough, the tough get going is an American saying.